A Single Girl's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse by JT Clay Read Free Book Online

assured Q that she would bring her something delicious that would blow her mind.
    The waitress had lied.
    Q drank her fresh, cool glass of gray. She didn’t know what was in it but it was more honest than the waitress. It tasted how it looked.
    Trying to take her mind off her mouth, she studied the other patrons. They looked like the same sort of people she had met in yet another hippy meeting, this time for Animal Rights are Right – or ARAR for short, which no one besides Q had pronounced with a pirate accent. What was it that made these people so earnest? She hoped they didn’t put any of it in the food.
    She blew bubbles into her glass and regretted not trying the Happy Sprout across the road, but she couldn’t deal with all that alfalfa in the front window. The display dishes looked like they had green Afros. How long would she have to cruise this freak circuit before she found Rabbit?
    Her stomach rumbled. “Not a chance, belly,” she said. “I don’t want to find out what they do to a burger in here.” She made a critical misjudgment on the bubble blow and her hippyshake exploded.
    Q was wiping down the table, her chin and her elbow when she noticed a beautiful man standing in the doorway. She wiped the rest of the stuff off her face, stood up, knocked over her chair, retrieved it and waved. “Rabbit!”
    He smiled and walked across to her. “I know you. You’re the kindergarten teacher. Winston, wasn’t it?”
    â€œUh – yeah, but you can call me Q.” She gestured to the empty seat across from her. “Would you like to have dinner with me?” she said, then blushed.
    He sat down. “Sure. I’m famished. What are you having?”
    â€œI couldn’t eat a thing.”
    â€œOh.” Rabbit picked up a menu and scanned it, then waved to the waitress.
    The woman, who was infuriatingly cute, beamed and hurried over. “Rabbit!” she said. “So good to see you! You haven’t been in for weeks.”
    A leg sweep and head stomp would do it. If only the woman were a zombie.
    Rabbit ordered bean nachos and a glass of carrot and ginger juice. She caught herself gazing at his face, wondered if she had been looking at him long enough for it to be awkward, realized that as soon as she had begun to wonder it was already awkward, and launched into conversation as cover.
    â€œSo!” she said. She stopped. Oh God. Her mother had been right. She had no follow-through. What went after “so”?
    She caught her hands halfway through Amorous Monkey kata, which they always reverted to when their owner was nervous, and placed them squarely on the table. Rabbit was definitely beginning to look uncomfortable. He would bolt as soon as he’d finished his food and she would never see him again. She glanced at the menu and grinned in relief. A topic!
    â€œBeans!” she said, too loud. Rabbit jumped. “You like beans?” she said.
    He relaxed. “I love the bean family,” he said.
    â€œMe too!” Q said. “There’s instant, and whole roast, and, um, instant.”
    Rabbit’s brow creased. Q hoped it was how he usually looked and not a specific reaction to her. “How are the kids going?” he said.
    Q gurgled. “Kids? I’m only twenty-two! I don’t have kids, not that I don’t want to someday, with the right person. I love kids. In my spare time I teach them how to beat each other up. But I don’t even have a boyfriend. I’m not gay though, I’m completely hetero, just unattached. That’s what my friends call me, Hetereounattached. When they’re not calling me Q.”
    Rabbit grinned. “I meant the Kindy Koalas.”
    â€œOh. The little monsters—” she caught his expression and softened her tone—“are adorable, thanks so much for asking. We’ve been singing your song.”
    â€œReally?”
    â€œQuietly