A Step Toward Falling by Cammie McGovern Read Free Book Online Page A

people are mostly happy to fill nervous silences with answers to questions. Sometimes they even look relieved and they make a long list of their favorite foods or TV shows or whatever question they’re answering.
    Even though Rhonda was a big help on some things, she wasn’t that much help on Ron. She kept saying I should be careful. I thought she was being sisterly the way Lizzy was with Jane in Pride and Prejudice . Like I should be careful with my heart which is what people tell someone before they fall in love.
    I haven’t talked to Rhonda since the football gameor told her what happened. “Oh, they know,” Nan says. “Believe me, they know.”
    Rhonda sent me a letter that said, “I hope I see you soon.”
    Cynthia baked cupcakes with some of the students and sent those.
    Actually, she brought them, but I was in my room. Mom came up and asked if I wanted to come down and say hi and I shook my head no. I wasn’t sure what to say and I didn’t want to have a nervous silence so I stayed in my room.
EMILY
    O UR SECOND WEEK OF Boundaries and Relationships, there’s a new volunteer in class. He’s wearing shorts and flip-flops and a macrame necklace with a little wooden bead. He looks like Ryan Harding, a skater I had a crush on in middle school because he was both very smart and very laid-back. He got all As in our honors classes even though he never seemed to carry a backpack or any books, for that matter.
    This guy has the same flop of curly brown hair and the same blue eyes as Ryan. It’s an almost eerie similarity except for this big difference: in the two years I had a crush on Ryan, he never spoke to me once. When I walk past this guy’s chair, he looks up and smiles. “Hi. You must be oneof the new volunteers. I’m Chad.”
    Class hasn’t started yet, so theoretically there’s no need to whisper, but we do anyway. “I’m Emily,” I say and hold out my hand, taking the chair next to him. Usually I don’t do things like this. It’s weird—with this group, I feel more confident than I do at school.
    â€œHow’d your first day go?” he says, turning to face me.
    â€œGreat!” I say, hoping no one sitting around us overhears this and contradicts me.
    He leans closer and whispers. “I was really nervous the first day I volunteered, and then you get to know these guys and they really grow on you. I don’t even have to volunteer anymore and I signed up anyway. I knew I’d miss it if I didn’t.”
    I can’t mask my surprise. “You had to volunteer?” It’s hard to imagine admitting this so easily: I’m here as a punishment for something terrible I did. It’s hard to imagine admitting this at all.
    â€œFor a leadership class in high school. Community service credit. Everyone had to.”
    Oh, right. “Where do you go to high school?”
    â€œDid. Garvey High. I graduated last year. Now I’m at Fairfield Community.”
    â€œAll right, let’s get started, everyone!” Mary says, dragging a chair over so we’re in a circle. “You all remember Chad,” Mary says. “He volunteered with us last spring. He hasn’t been here yet this fall because he’s getting settled into his new college classes but he called me this week and asked if he could come back because hemissed volunteering with you.”
    â€œThas nice ,” Francine says loudly.
    â€œIt is nice,” Mary says. “We’re happy to have you back, Chad.”
    Just then the door opens and Lucas comes in. “Sorry I’m late,” he mumbles as he sits down in the only empty seat left.
    â€œWe start class on time,” Mary says, sounding surprisingly curt. “If you’re more than ten minutes late, you shouldn’t bother coming, Lucas. We’ll just add a session at the end for whatever you miss.”
    I wonder if everyone understands what