A Strange Commonplace by Gilbert Sorrentino Read Free Book Online

crosswords might arrest the disease. They’ve made such great advances in so many years of medicine.” He looks at The Memoir, which he has taken out of his pocket, and smiles. “Where’s your friend, the high-school boy writer? Isn’t he a little young for you?” He turns and opens a stainless steel door marked CAUTION HAZARD ENTERTAINMENT, and walks through it. She is mildly surprised to find that she is wearing nothing but her slip and a pair of paper slippers, one of which says MICKEY and the other MINNIE. Doctor Napoleon stands in front of her, his arms folded, and asks her about her offensive smoking at the party, “and by the buffet! That’s not a good idea with multiple myeloma. Why aren’t you in a hospital gown?” He is at the nurses’ station, talking to two nurses and shaking his head resignedly. She goes back to her room and the good-looking but boyish entertainment coordinator is sitting on the bed, smoking her last cigarette. “Oh, oh,” he says. “Caught red-handed. I surrender.” She takes her slip off because of the strict instructions she memorized while still at home, and stands at the side of the bed, in another slip, her arms held straight at her sides. He gets up and looks out the window. “They all ought to go back to Chelsea, and what the hell happened to that neighborhood? You too!” She gets into bed and lights a cigarette from a pack that she finds under the counterpane. He and Doctor Napoleon speak in whispers in the little bathroom, the door to which is only half-closed. “Have the other women finally left for Los Angeles?” the doctor asks. “In their New York clothes? They were supposed to wear their hospital gowns!” She puts her cigarette out and lights another, then offers the pack to Doctor Napoleon and the entertainment coordinator, who, she realizes, is a young black man whose name is Ferlon Grevette. This surprises her for she knows that young black men never get sick enough to go to the hospital. “You’re very bald,” she says to him. She gets off the bed, straightens and smooths her skirt, tucks in her blouse, and steps into her new pumps. But she can’t open the door, even though it has no lock. She turns, in tears, to Doctor Napoleon. Her blouse has fallen open and her breasts are exposed. “The door,” she says. “I’m dying and the door’s closed. Am I?” “It’s time for some entertainment,” Doctor Napoleon says, but Ferlon Grevette has left. “Let’s get into that gown now, Claire, shall we?” Doctor Napoleon says, smiling foolishly. “Your breasts are beautiful, but multiple myeloma doesn’t care.” He begins to eat his stethoscope. “Licorice,” he says. “One of my little jokes to lighten things up a bit.” “That’s in The Memoir ,” Claire says, pulling her slip on.

Another Story
    DEAR CLARA,
    I ’M SENDING YOU THIS CARE OF KATY, HOPING YOU’LL GET IT and read it and think about the terrible step you took. Walking out. I couldn’t believe it when I got home that night from my sales trip, to find you gone with all your clothes and things gone and not to let me explain or talk to you was also a slap in the face, believe you me. And not to even let me see little Maureen before you left if you thought you had to leave, what can she be thinking in her innocent mind? I know you’ll be mad as you are usually when I mention your mother but, I blame her for this and your father too had a hand in it, since he does as he’s told, and they were always jealous of our happiness. I know I made a mistake with Janet but it was one mistake, and, no matter what you may believe or were told, it was only one. And to just throw away our marriage for this, do you think it’s right? I’m sure you were hurt or, I should say I know you were hurt because it was adding insult to injury that Janet, was a guest in our house many times and adored Maureen. I know it was wrong of her and she also knows this. And it was wrong of me of course, but it was