A Talent for Murder by R.T. Jordan Read Free Book Online Page B

when the mood hit her. This morning it was nearly ten when Polly and Detective Archer wandered in their bathrobes and bare feet to the poolside patio breakfast table. “Does the sun always rise this early?” Polly said to Placenta as she slipped on her sunglasses, then walked straight toward her Bloody Mary, which had been set on the table.
    Placenta poured coffee for Randy Archer and placed a glass of fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice at his setting. “Muffins.” She pointed to a basket covered with a linen napkin. “Breakfast will be out in a jiff.”
    “You’re a gem, Placenta.” Randy smiled.
    “I’m on my best behavior to keep you around.” Placenta nudged him with her elbow.
    Polly, too, smiled and sighed with contentment. She placed a hand on Randy’s and gave it a quick pat. “You were a dear to protect me from unimaginable
Twilight Zone
evils last night,” she said, looking into his dark brown eyes. “You have a way of making me feel—sweet sixteen.”
    Randy’s smile radiated brighter than the light reflecting off the water in the swimming pool. “And you have a way of making me feel—like the guy in the Cialis commercial who’s always ready.”
    Polly sighed again. “Nothing can spoil this splendid day.”
    At that moment, the telephone rang. “Naturally!” Polly said, and gritted her teeth. She called out to Placenta, “If it’s J.J., tell him I’m hiding from killer fans!” Then she took another sip from her BM.
    In a moment, Placenta appeared with a breakfast cart on which rested plates of berry-topped heart-shaped waffles, caramelized bacon, sausage links, poached peaches, and fruit compote. From her apron pocket she withdrew the cordless phone. “It’s your producer, Richard Dartmouth,” Placenta said, holding the handset out for Polly, who grimaced.
    “I’m in Bolivia.” Polly pushed the phone away. “I’ll be damned if I’ll do another promo spot. Especially not today!”
    Placenta grumbled as she pushed the On button. “Miss Pepper’s keeper says her cage is empty. When the bounty hunters drag her AWOL butt back I’ll ask her to call you.” She listened a moment longer, then added, “That’s the only section of the newspaper that she ever reads anyway.”
    As Polly and Randy were playing footsy under the table and enjoying bites of their breakfast, Placenta said, “He’s summoning everyone for a meeting tomorrow at ten.”
    “On a Sunday?” Polly protested. “What if I want to go to church?”
    “And give the pope a stroke? Mr. Dartmouth said to tell you to read the Calendar section of the
L.A. Times
before you call him back.”
    Polly looked across the table and picked up the morning newspaper, which was faceup with a large picture of an entire town in the Midwest submerged under floodwaters. Polly tsked in sadness for the victims. “If they lived here on Stone Canyon Road, such things wouldn’t happen.” Polly pulled out the Calendar section and started to skim the contents. “What am I looking for?” she asked. Then Polly’s jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out.
    “What’s the scoop?” Randy asked as he watched Polly’s lips move as she read the words on the page.
    “I’ll Do Anything to Become Famous. It’s a dud!” she whined.
    Tim finally wandered to the table, his hair disheveled, and still wearing his bedclothes: a diaphanous threadbare T-shirt and a pair of gym shorts. Until his first infusion of caffeine for the day, it was impossible for Tim to be fully conscious. He automatically wrapped his hands around a mug of organic Mayan blend coffee that Placenta had set before him. Tim took a long swallow. Then, looking at his mother’s face, which showed a combination of anger and resentment, he managed to ask, “‘Nother dead body drop by?”
    “We’re all dead! Everyone associated with this stupid summer show. Apparently the ratings for last night’s debut stank!” Polly snapped. “I’m sunk.”
    “You always float to the surface,”