A Wealth of Unsaid Words by R. Cooper Read Free Book Online Page B

as bright,” Alex answered immediately in the dark,
    thinking of both life without Everett and life without mania.
    Some things were forever gone, traded for the promise of
    stability. He mourned them, but not nearly as much as the
    lost years. “But not as terrifying. Everything looks different.”
    He could sense Everett"s mind working on that revelation,
    deciding on what to ask first.
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    A Wealth of Unsaid Words • R. Cooper

    “Bad different?” Everett whispered too.
    “No.” Alex shook his head to reinforce that, and then
    because he was there and allowed to, he scooted closer until
    they shared a pillow too. Everett leaned into him and let out
    a long, shaky breath that could have held a prayer. “I feel
    like I can handle things. Like maybe I won"t slip if….” If he
    was without Everett, but Alex wasn"t verbalizing that
    particular terror now. “Good different.”
    “ Good .” Everett meant it this time. Alex listened to him
    breathing for a few more minutes, and then carefully slid in
    that last inch until they were shoulder to shoulder, hip to
    hip, and his words were damp against Everett"s skin.
    He was so tired. Tired of wanting and not having, or of
    having and still wanting more. Of thinking of all the things
    his own mind had hidden from him. Tired of restraint and
    wishing and longing for just a moment like this in Everett"s
    room.
    He wet his mouth and shaped out what he needed to
    say as the minutes ticked by.
    “It"s been a year, Everett.” A long, dry year to end long,
    dry decades. There was a tree downstairs and dirty, thin
    snow on the ground, and he did not think he could wait
    much longer, even so scared that Everett had to feel his
    quivering.
    If Everett still wanted him, here he was. But he could
    not say the words.
    Everett gave a slow sigh and pushed back into him.
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    A Wealth of Unsaid Words • R. Cooper

    “I know,” he agreed, his voice husky, but he didn"t
    move. From the sound of his voice, he was headed to sleep,
    already half in a dream. Alex shut his eyes, and the
    cowardice made him speak when he knew Everett wouldn"t
    remember, as though once again he had plied Everett with
    whiskey until he"d passed out and then curled up beside him
    to whisper every secret desire into his ear.
    “This might be awkward in the morning,” he exhaled to
    himself, though he wasn"t sure what he even meant, if the
    children should come in and find them like this, or if Everett
    would wake up and be horrified to find himself being
    spooned, or if Everett no longer wanted him, not in that way
    that his eyes had once promised, but then Everett gave a
    tired snort, awake after all.
    “You think so?” he murmured, sleepily surprised, and
    pulled Alex"s hand back to his chest, this time without
    letting go.

    verett was gone, and the house smelled like bread
    dough when Alex woke up. It was Christmas Eve,
    E and judging from the sounds, the kids knew it.
    In the kitchen, there were a few people at the
    counters, meddling in Everett"s business, and several more
    at the breakfast nook, enjoying what looked like coffee and
    the remnants of scrambled eggs that Alex must have missed
    while he was dressing.
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    A Wealth of Unsaid Words • R. Cooper

    “I"m not decorating all those cookies for the neighbors,”
    Everett was protesting as he did every year, though his
    sisters and Robert would give up halfway through the dozens
    of sugar cookies. If the children didn"t finish all the frosting
    work, Everett would, somehow successfully conning Alex
    into helping him every time.
    Alex took a seat next to Ty, who was getting the
    rundown on what to expect today and tonight and all the
    little traditions he was now a part of.
    “There"ll be some drinking among the younger crowd
    tonight, but be warned, when the kids wake you up for
    presents, you will get up—as long as it"s after six. It"s the
    only rule my parents have ever made stick,” Rachel was
    explaining. Alex rolled his eyes. Molly