A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything by Lydia Brownback Read Free Book Online Page A

greatly affect our well-being and that of others by what we do with our tongues.
    That being said, the power of our words springs not from our actual tongue but from the heart that controls it. Jesus made clear that our words are a reflection of our hearts, which is why they will be judged so strictly: “The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matt. 12:35–37).

    helping words
    As we’ve seen, the proverbs were originally recorded to instruct young men in God’s ways, but the truths we find in them aren’t just applicable to young men. They are fitting for everyone—male or female, young or old—because they are God’s truths. There is, however, a distinction in how to apply them.
    God designed women to complement men. That’s not compliment with an i but complement with an e . That one letter makes all the difference. To complement means to fill up, complete, or make perfect. That’s what God had in mind when he said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18). Actually, it’s a two-way street; men and women were designed to complement each other. Men and women have been hardwired with distinctive gender traits that, when working together, serve the human race and display the glory of God.
    The word helper gets a bad rap. In the marriage context it can conjure up a mental picture of a worn-out wife trudging through the housework and seeking to help her man accomplish his personal goals while he has a stimulating day at the office. But that is not what God had in mind. A wife’s calling is to help her husband accomplish God’s goals. The two working together, each with particular strengths, grow and build up God’s family and spread God’s name throughout the world.
    There is actually a lot of power in being a helper, because one of the primary ways we exercise it is by influence, and we influence by means of our words. All that to say, one of the primary ways we fulfill our role as helper is through our tongues. A godly helper uses her words to build up, to encourage, and to disseminate God’ s Word.
    A woman who used her tongue for the good of others was Esther. In fact, she risked her life in doing so after her relative Mordecai said, “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Est. 4:13–14 NKJV ). The Jews of her day were up against a secretive deadly plot, but because Esther employed her tongue with great wisdom, the Jews were saved.
    We can, however, corrupt the call to help, to influence for good, by our words. Consider Delilah in Judges 16. Delilah was a Philistine woman who was employed by her countrymen to trick the Israelite judge Samson. From what we are given to see of Samson in the Bible, it is apparent that he was susceptible to worldly women like Delilah. She put to use all of her feminine wiles—including her speech—to convince Samson to reveal the secret of his great strength so that the Philistines might come in and overpower him. On three separate occasions Delilah said, “Please tell me where your great strength lies, and how you might be bound, that one could subdue you” (v. 6). Because Samson was infatuated with this woman, he believed she was merely playing some sort of lovers’ game, and he teased her with wrong answers time and again. Finally, though, when Delilah’s manipulative words failed to charm the secret from Samson, she nagged the truth from him,