A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything by Lydia Brownback Read Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Lydia Brownback
harassing him verbally until he gave in from sheer frustration.
Delilah epitomizes how a woman can misuse her tongue to destroy. God hasn’t given us the gift of speech to gratify our selfish desires. It is meant for building up, encouraging, and setting forth wisdom. When a woman uses her tongue to influence for good, God is glorified and the people in her life are blessed. Will we use our words to manipulate for selfish gain? Or will we use them for the good of others? We will face this choice every day in every conversation we have.
words of folly
If we isolate all the proverbs that have to do with our words, we find that certain speech sins are addressed repeatedly, so of these we should take careful note.
Lies
From Proverbs we learn a lot about the characteristics of a liar and the consequences of lying. One thing we learn is that lying is futile because it is always caught and punished:
A false witness will not go unpunished,
and he who breathes out lies will not escape. (Prov. 19:5)
Sometimes we lie because we feel cornered; it’s almost a knee-jerk response to avoid shame or embarrassment. Other times our lies might be more deliberate. Either way, Proverbs indicates that liars will be held accountable for their words.
We also discover that there is a link between hatred and lying:
The one who conceals hatred has lying lips,
and whoever utters slander is a fool. (Prov. 10:18)
A lying tongue hates its victims,
and a flattering mouth works ruin. (Prov. 26:28)
As we can see, hatred and lying go together. Lying expresses contempt for the one being lied to. It is a move away from relationship. Recall a time when someone lied to you, and think about why it hurt when you found out. Chances are it wasn’t just whatever the liar had tried to cover up but also the fact that the liar created a barrier in your relationship. The act of lying is a maneuvering tactic for creating relational distance, whether or not the liar is conscious of doing so.
Another thing we learn from Proverbs about lying is how much God hates it:
There are six things that the L ORD hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood. (Prov. 6:16–17)
Lying lips are an abomination to the L ORD ,
but those who act faithfully are his delight.
(Prov. 12:22; 6:17)
Abomination is a pretty strong word. In Scripture it is attached to behaviors for which God has a particular disgust and loathing. For that reason, wise women also hate lying:
The righteous hates falsehood,
but the wicked brings shame and disgrace. (Prov. 13:5)
To hate something is to reject it, to utterly repudiate it, and to cringe when it confronts us. Wise women take honest speech seriously and do not consider half-truths, white lies, or anger-generated vows as legitimate exceptions. If we catch ourselves telling a lie, we stop and tell the truth. Those who are careful to speak only truth are trusted and their words are weighty, whereas those who are careless with the truth aren’t taken seriously.
Ellie learned this firsthand with her daughter Kate, who had been pushing the boundaries of her curfew for several weeks. Ellie warned Kate that if she broke curfew again, she would be grounded. It did happen again, that very week, but Ellie didn’t follow through with the punishment. As a result, Kate has lost respect for her mother and gives even less weight to Ellie’s rules.
If we want to be taken seriously, and if we really want to love those around us, we won’t be careless with the truth. When a friend asks if we think she needs to lose weight, we will tell her the truth rather than just what will make her feel good at the moment. If a coworker tells us she is planning to use a sick day for fun at the beach, we don’t back up her dishonesty with our own untruth and say, “Hey, that’s okay. You need a break.” Being scrupulous with the truth can be hard sometimes, but the payoff is worth it.
What about things
Delilah epitomizes how a woman can misuse her tongue to destroy. God hasn’t given us the gift of speech to gratify our selfish desires. It is meant for building up, encouraging, and setting forth wisdom. When a woman uses her tongue to influence for good, God is glorified and the people in her life are blessed. Will we use our words to manipulate for selfish gain? Or will we use them for the good of others? We will face this choice every day in every conversation we have.
words of folly
If we isolate all the proverbs that have to do with our words, we find that certain speech sins are addressed repeatedly, so of these we should take careful note.
Lies
From Proverbs we learn a lot about the characteristics of a liar and the consequences of lying. One thing we learn is that lying is futile because it is always caught and punished:
A false witness will not go unpunished,
and he who breathes out lies will not escape. (Prov. 19:5)
Sometimes we lie because we feel cornered; it’s almost a knee-jerk response to avoid shame or embarrassment. Other times our lies might be more deliberate. Either way, Proverbs indicates that liars will be held accountable for their words.
We also discover that there is a link between hatred and lying:
The one who conceals hatred has lying lips,
and whoever utters slander is a fool. (Prov. 10:18)
A lying tongue hates its victims,
and a flattering mouth works ruin. (Prov. 26:28)
As we can see, hatred and lying go together. Lying expresses contempt for the one being lied to. It is a move away from relationship. Recall a time when someone lied to you, and think about why it hurt when you found out. Chances are it wasn’t just whatever the liar had tried to cover up but also the fact that the liar created a barrier in your relationship. The act of lying is a maneuvering tactic for creating relational distance, whether or not the liar is conscious of doing so.
Another thing we learn from Proverbs about lying is how much God hates it:
There are six things that the L ORD hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood. (Prov. 6:16–17)
Lying lips are an abomination to the L ORD ,
but those who act faithfully are his delight.
(Prov. 12:22; 6:17)
Abomination is a pretty strong word. In Scripture it is attached to behaviors for which God has a particular disgust and loathing. For that reason, wise women also hate lying:
The righteous hates falsehood,
but the wicked brings shame and disgrace. (Prov. 13:5)
To hate something is to reject it, to utterly repudiate it, and to cringe when it confronts us. Wise women take honest speech seriously and do not consider half-truths, white lies, or anger-generated vows as legitimate exceptions. If we catch ourselves telling a lie, we stop and tell the truth. Those who are careful to speak only truth are trusted and their words are weighty, whereas those who are careless with the truth aren’t taken seriously.
Ellie learned this firsthand with her daughter Kate, who had been pushing the boundaries of her curfew for several weeks. Ellie warned Kate that if she broke curfew again, she would be grounded. It did happen again, that very week, but Ellie didn’t follow through with the punishment. As a result, Kate has lost respect for her mother and gives even less weight to Ellie’s rules.
If we want to be taken seriously, and if we really want to love those around us, we won’t be careless with the truth. When a friend asks if we think she needs to lose weight, we will tell her the truth rather than just what will make her feel good at the moment. If a coworker tells us she is planning to use a sick day for fun at the beach, we don’t back up her dishonesty with our own untruth and say, “Hey, that’s okay. You need a break.” Being scrupulous with the truth can be hard sometimes, but the payoff is worth it.
What about things
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