A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius by Stacey Matson Read Free Book Online Page B

Bean
    â€¢ • •
    Assignment: A Christmas Story
    By Arthur Bean
    The best day of last Christmas was the day when my dad brought home the Christmas tree. My mom had gotten out all the Christmas ornaments and sang along loudly to “The Twelve Days of Christmas” while she untangled the lights.
    My dad showed up at home with the biggest tree I had ever seen, and together we dragged our tree off the roof of the car and into the house. The pine smell filled the room, and then my dad swore and swore while he tried to get the lights on straight. My mother would yell at him every time a bad word came out of his mouth, and I would laugh at them while I unwrapped the ornaments and lined them up on the coffee table. We got all the ornaments on the tree, and my dad drank a beer, and my mom had a wine cooler, and I had hot chocolate and we sat on the couch and stared at the Christmas tree until the sun went down and the only light in the house came from the bright red-and-blue lights that twisted and turned around the tree.
    That night, very late, there was a tinkling sound. The bells on the tree were singing wildly, and I woke up and listened to them in my bed. Then they got louder, and louder, until I heard a CRRRRACK , and then a crashing noise, full of breaking glass.
    We ran out into the living room, and Pickles was cowering in the corner behind the couch, where she had gotten stuck after batting at the lowest ornaments on the tree until the tree fell over. My dad swore a lot, and my mom laughed and laughed, and she picked up the cat in one hand and went and got the broom. She swept up all the glass and I held the dustpan while my dad propped up the tree again. We had to turn the tree around so that the back was facing the front, since it was too late to buy new Christmas lights and the branches were all broken. But I still think it was the nicest Christmas tree we ever had.
    Dear Arthur,
    Thank you for sharing a lovely Christmas memory of your mother with me. I hope you and your father have a nice holiday. See you in the New Year!
    Ms. Whitehead
    â€¢ • •
    December 20th
    Dear RJ,
    Dad and I went Christmas shopping today at the mall and we ran into Ms. Whitehead! It was SO awkward. We were eating lunch in the food court, and she came around with her taco combo looking for a seat. She didn’t even notice me at first. She just saw a free seat at our table and asked if she could sit down. Then she actually saw me and was all excited that she got to meet my dad “since he had missed the parent-teacher conference” (I think she was judging him a little bit when she said that), and freaked out about what a coincidence it was that she ran into us. It was so over the top. I wonder if she planned it. Maybe she was hitting on my dad, since she knows that he’s single now. That would not be cool.
    Anyway, she sat down with us and was talking all about her Christmas plans. She even asked my dad for his advice on a plaid shirt she bought for her brother. Like he knows anything about fashion! She had all kinds of bags too, including one from the lingerie store. I was embarrassed for her. I can’t believe she was buying underwear and then sitting with a student! Who does that?? She said that she was going home to Toronto for Christmas, and that she was taking her grandmother to see The Nutcracker . She said she goes with her grandmother every year. I don’t know how she still has a grandmother who is still alive! I wonder how old she is? I thought she was forty.
    When we left, she gave me a hug and shook my dad’s hand. It was a total surprise, so I hugged her back. I hope no one from school saw me hugging my teacher. That’s how rumors get started.
    Yours truly,
    Arthur
    â€¢ • •
    From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
    To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
    Sent: December 21, 17:56
    Hi, Arthur.
    How’s your Christmas break??? Mine is TERRIBLE. :( Sandy broke