Aaron by J.P. Barnaby Read Free Book Online

could do nothing but stand next to him, looking helpless and being very careful not to touch his brother.
    “Aaron, look at me, man…. Breathe….” Allen began to take slow deep breaths. “It’s okay, Aaron, just breathe.” His deep breathing was exaggerated, trying to get his brother to match his pace.
    An older couple came out of the restaurant, watching them warily as they shuffled past the boys on the way to their car. The man, who must have been in his seventies, used his cane heavily as his wife held his other arm. Glancing back at Aaron again as she helped her husband into their seafoam-colored sedan, the woman turned her heavily lined face to Allen and furrowed her brow. When Allen didn’t say anything, she walked slowly around the car and got behind the wheel. As she pulled out of the space, she narrowly missed the minivan parked in the row behind her. The two boys watched as they rolled slowly, merging into traffic as they left the lot.
    Finally, Allen looked back at Aaron, who was breathing deeply and slowly with his eyes on his brother. It helped him to have something to focus on, something to keep him anchored in the present when his mind wanted to travel back to that dark place and keep him there until he screamed.
    “Thank you,” Aaron whispered, and closed his eyes against the dying afternoon light as the darkness in his mind started to recede and his lungs slowly started to work again. Each breath came easier than the last, though his face and neck still felt hot and tight. The long-sleeved polo clung to his back in the heat and tension of the near breakdown. Aaron continued to take slow, deep breaths for a few more minutes until he felt calmer. When he opened his eyes, he was looking at Allen and saw his own sadness reflected in his brother’s face.
    “Aaron, you’re my brother and I love you. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, man.” Allen moved to put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but then remembered himself.
    “Love you too, kid, even though it’s me who is supposed to be looking out for you,” Aaron said with real remorse. It was his job to look out for his brothers, not the other way around. It killed him that they had to treat him like some kind of invalid because he couldn’t function. One menu hitting his shoulder and he lost control of everything. He couldn’t live like that. He just… he couldn’t. Something had to change. He just didn’t know what he could do to make it happen.
“You always watched out for me and Anthony,” Allen said, looking his brother in the eye. “We can do the watching for a while.” Aaron closed his eyes again briefly. Then after a moment, he nodded.
    “Are you okay to go back inside? I’m sure Mom is wondering where we are.” Allen asked and then glanced around, probably to see if their mother had followed them outside.
    Aaron let his brother lead him back to the table like a naughty child. When Aaron sat down in his place, he found that the mess from his spill was gone, and he had a fresh Coke. The food had been brought out while they were outside, so he grabbed his napkin and rested it in his lap as Allen sat down beside him. If he could just get through eating without any more problems, he might be able to salvage the rest of the evening for his mother. By the look on his father’s face, that cause was lost.
    “Thanks, Anthony,” Aaron said quietly as he picked up his first piece of chicken. Miraculously, he found that he had an appetite. The last thing he wanted right then was to cause his mother more worry, so he ate as Anthony smiled back at him through a mouth full of spaghetti.
    The rest of the meal crawled along, subdued but uneventful. Aaron noticed that when the server returned to the table, she made sure to do so near their grandparents, as far as she could from him. The tightness in his chest dissolved after nearly strangling him all night, and he watched the conversation with a small measure of interest. His