that sounded just plain wrong! “You think it’s bad that my son looks up to me? From where I’m sitting, that’s the only good news I’ve had. I came here hoping you could help, but I just don’t see where you’re coming from. How can that be bad?”
“It’s possible that with you two living together, he now sees that you have faults, and he’s angry about it. You’ve toppled off your pedestal. Worse, he seems to think it’s partly his fault. I sense he regrets your decision to resign your commission. I think he blames himself, since you did it to be a full-time father to him.”
Adam shook his head. “You don’t understand. He’s angry, but not about my faults. Mark was livingwith his mother’s sister after the accident that killed his mother and Jerry. He stayed there till I could get stateside. Mark wanted to stay with her indefinitely. That’s Mark’s problem. He didn’t get his way. I never gave up my right to be his father—and I won’t. But it’s not what he wants. And that’s why he’s angry.”
“Lieutenant Commander, I’m speculating here. And you must be, too. Mark is so conflicted right now, I’m not sure Mark knows why he’s angry or what he wants.”
“So what’s so wrong with me telling him where we’re going to live? I refuse to feel guilty for that any longer. It’s my job as a parent to see that Mark has the right environment, and it’s my right as a parent to take my son where I’ve decided to live.”
She huffed out an impatient breath. “I never said otherwise. Parents move their children all over for flimsier reasons than wanting to return to their hometown. I was only trying to give you some perspective on Mark’s feelings. And to explain that you need to listen for little openings and to take advantage of them if you want to have a good relationship with him. Grab on and use any opportunity to explore his feelings and yours. Try to guide, rather than order the way you did with your men, and notice the moments when he’s begging for praise, even though he doesn’t seem to be. I’m not saying it’s easy. But the more important accomplishments in life rarely are.”
“A warning would have been helpful,” Adam said tersely. “If I’d known he was trying to express feelings, I might have seen what he was getting at. I waschoking down dinner and all of a sudden I was in the middle of a minefield with him. I want a warning in the future if you challenge Mark to talk to me about something. As for all this other stuff you said, I’ll have to think about it.”
“Fine, but I’d like this talk between us kept confidential for now,” she said.
He sat back, crossing his ankle over his knee. “If you’re so sure of all this, why don’t you want him to know I was here? I’d think knowing I’m concerned for him would help our relationship.”
“If you remember, I said I’m speculating—using those clues I mentioned that Mark is casting out. I’m certainly not trying to throw up roadblocks to your relationship. I just don’t want him thinking we’ve been talking about him behind his back.”
“Even though we are and he’s doing the same thing to me?” Adam asked, annoyed again rather than curious.
She sighed in a way that said she thought he was an idiot. About emotional stuff, he admitted to himself, he probably was.
“Mark might not confide in me if he thinks we’re in cahoots, Lieutenant Commander. Don’t you want him to have someone to talk to?”
This whole thing was just a little much. Was he supposed to be grateful to this woman for butting into his relationship with Mark? He was willing to take advice, but not to have her as a third party in the conflict between himself and Mark. “He’s my son. I want him to talk to me.”
She smiled, but it was more of a sarcastic smirk. “But he tried that. Didn’t he?”
“Look, you weren’t there. Talking about abstract kindergartners having to sit in a bad chair was a pretty darn obscure