Absolute Mayhem by Monica Mayhem Read Free Book Online Page B

drinks.
    The best thing about dancing in London was all the
rules. We had a six-foot rule (meaning the guys had
to keep six feet away from us), so there were no dirty
lap dances, as is common in the States. I was especially
grateful for this when one of the guys from Salomon
Smith Barney came into the Rhino to see me one night.
I gave him a table dance, from six feet away, so he had
no chance of groping me!
    The money was pretty good, too. I could get paid
£250 just to sit and have dinner and drinks with the
customers for an hour. Some guys would pay me just to
hang out and talk and drink with them. It was really fun,
and I enjoyed being an entertainer on that very direct,
personal level.
    I never saw it as any kind of stepping stone, and
getting into porn never crossed my mind at all. But in
hindsight it was clearly an important transitional period
in my life.
    If I could go back in time, I would have stuck with
the singing and acting classes that I'd started in Sydney
and really tried to pursue that, rather than listen to
what my parents wanted me to do. Their not encouraging
me to pursue my dreams – well, that's still quite
devastating to me. However, I think my life would have
gone nowhere had I stayed at the Spearmint Rhino in
London or just carried on as a glamour model doing
soft core shoots. Looking back, I'm so glad I moved on.
I didn't know then about half the things I was about to
do (and might've shrieked in horror if I had known) but
I'm certain that I would never have taken the time to
go to mainstream acting auditions while I was stripping
and doing glamour modelling in the UK.
    After the madness of modelling for small-time photographers,
shaking my booty for the lads and louts, and
freezing my butt off while trying to analyse the volatile
financial markets, I was ready for a serious change of
lifestyle. London is a great place to visit but, personally,
I couldn't handle living there. I was a fun-loving Aussie
girl, and palm trees, pink sunsets, miles of beaches and
throngs of beautiful people were much more my scene.
Southern California was waiting for me.
    So how did my big move from London to LA come
about? It was simple: one night in December 2000 at the
Spearmint Rhino, a bunch of us were getting drunk after
work as usual when I dared one of the club's owners,
an American, to fl y me back to the States with him. To
my complete astonishment, he called my bluff , and four
hours later we were on a plane – I'd got a free trip to
America!
    I left everything behind and flew away on the wings
of sheer spontaneity. I trusted my instincts to guide me
onwards, even if most normal people would scarcely
have considered it a good career move. My only plan at
the time was to travel round the United States, hopefully
making money by stripping, and then return to London
to pick up the things that I'd left behind and take them
and myself back to Sydney.
    But things didn't quite turn out that way.

Chapter Four
LIKE A
VIRGIN
    After doing more than 400 movies and magazine
layouts, I find myself randomly remembering
things I had once forgotten. Sequences of events come
back to me in hazy fl ashes and sudden spurts, perhaps
because I wasn't always entirely sober at the time
(although I always am nowadays, as I'm much more
conscious of my image).
    This can be quite distracting when you take into
account the outrageous, crazy or just downright ridiculous
things I've experienced. One time, for instance,
a bunch of us were smoking weed on set, and I was
working with this guy who had really long balls. The
camera couldn't see the hardcore action because of
them. So the director yelled out, 'Hey, move your damn
cow udders. I can't see the penetration.' I lost it after
that, and we had to take a break. I was laughing so hard
that tears were coming out of my eyes, and the make-up
artist had to re-do my make-up!
    Not being entirely sober on set is a common trait
among quite a few porn stars, though we're not always
allowed to admit