Absolute Sunset by Kata Mlek Read Free Book Online

booze,” she said to the shop assistant. The girl had a blank look on her face and served her mechanically, putting the bottle into a paper bag. What a pretense. Everybody knew what was inside. Vodka.
    She hurried back to the flat. She was trembling. She couldn’t get the key to fit in the lock. Finally, she made it inside. Taking off her sweater, she managed to twist the top off the bottle. She took the first huge gulp. Icy, but then suddenly hot. A relief. She calmed down and took a glass from the cupboard, then went to the bedroom. Looking into the dirty mirror, she finished the vodka.
    “Cheers, mummy!” she said to herself with the last glass, and fell down on the bed.
    The ceiling began its customary dance. And then it switched to waving, as if she were on a ship. Once Janusz had taken Sabina for a cruise on Odra river. They were in Opole, celebrating some anniversary. The waves rocked the boat gently, but Sabina became nauseated anyway. Probably from the smell of the engine of the old barge, as well as the stink of the oily river. Her stomach lurched. The ice cream she’d eaten a half hour before suddenly felt heavy. It brimmed over. She couldn’t prevent it.
    “You’re feeding the fish in the river!” Janusz said, laughing as she threw up. Back then it somehow didn’t bother him. He even helped her to clean her coat. But the past is another world, untouchable, almost fictional. Nothing like that would ever happen now.
    The bed beneath her seemed to swing more and more powerfully. Sabina felt her tongue go dry. Then sour saliva filled her mouth. She got up as quickly as she could.
    “Fuck!” She barely managed to get out the brief curse before puking onto the rug.
    The whirling ceased and Sabina collapsed back onto the bed. The ceiling steadied. She fell asleep.
    She told Janusz a month later.
    “I’m pregnant, I want an abortion.” Just like that.
    “No way,” he said firmly.
    Sabina shrugged her shoulders. Anything could happen. She wouldn’t take much care of herself or the baby.
We’ll see.



8
    Hanka—A Brother
    Hanka only found out much, much later. And even then, only because her mother called her into the bathroom.
    “Come here, wash my back!” she yelled, and Hanka appeared immediately. She couldn’t stand soaping and washing Sabina’s freckled body, but there was no way to avoid it.
    “Yes?” she whispered, standing in the doorway. From there she could clearly see her mother’s breasts. Two flabby balloons floating on the surface of the bubbly water. She cringed in disgust. The bathroom was stuffy. Musty.
    “Come in. I’ll show you something,” Sabina ordered, putting the cigarette out in the shampoo lid. She always smoked in the bathtub. It was gross. Hanka entered the bathroom as slowly as she could. She had been hit with the showerhead a number of times, so she was vigilant. But this time Sabina looked happy. She moved like a humpback whale. Hanka smiled cautiously. Only slightly, so as not to provoke Sabina.
    “Look!” Sabina got up a little bit. Hanka jumped away. She clenched her fists, as if she were ready to fight.
    A round belly appeared above the water. It seemed almost transparent. A dark line, like a scar, ran down it, as if the belly might open and expose her mother’s guts. Stomach. Intestines. Kidneys.
    From time to time the taut skin quivered like a membrane. Something like a bulge appeared on the bottom of the hemisphere of her belly. As if something inside were trying to get out. Hanka started to scream.
    “Don’t scream the place down, stupid!” her mother scolded. “It’s your little brother.”
    “Brother?” Hanka went silent, but she was still frightened. This monstrous gut horrified her with its sheer size and with its disgusting, moving, chaotic bulges. The dark line seemed to widen.
    “Why are you still standing here?” Sabina spat, getting irritated. “A brother! He’ll be born soon. I hope you’re happy,” She chuckled and lit another