Accidentally in Love by Jane Davitt, Alexa Snow Read Free Book Online

want to swap that for what Calvin so obviously enjoyed: a quick, graceless fumble and jerk with a stranger.
     
    Of course, there could be something else, a connection formed, love in the equation, but at twenty-four, Tom had given up on that. For other people, sure, just not for him. He’d never met anyone he’d had more than a passing crush on, and he’d certainly never had anyone come on to him. Why would they? He wasn’t ugly, no; even worse, he was dull, the diametric opposite to cool, and being gay didn’t help. Gay men had standards too.

    He remembered one girl who’d asked him out, desperate to be with someone, anyone , at a high school dance. He’d told her he was gay, and she’d refused to believe him. With her face a humiliated, blotchy red, she’d told him that he couldn’t be gay, because gay men knew how to dress and be charming, and he was a joke.
     
    Of course he remembered her. He’d always remember her, from the pain in her eyes to the cruel tone of her voice. Her words had rung in his ears for weeks, and an echo of them persisted still, taunting him with the reality that he wasn’t the kind of guy who would ever find a boyfriend, that any sexual encounter he managed would be a fluke.

    It was such a depressing thought that it made him want to pull the covers over his head and never get up again. He was profoundly aware of how alone he was. It sucked.
    * * *
    The next morning, Tom woke late after a restless night with every creaking floorboard jolting him awake. He wasn’t sure he could handle another round if Cal and his friend were in the mood for dessert.

    Even after getting up later than usual, he was still downstairs before the other two. He started a pot of coffee and watched it fill, staring at the rising level without really seeing it. He couldn’t do this. He’d known that Cal would bring people back; that was a given. He just hadn’t thought it would be shoved in his face like this. Cal had hooked up with at least one other man in the month he’d been living at Tom’s. That time, he’d gone back to the guy’s place, rolling in the next morning looking sleepy, sated, and with a hickey on his neck.

    By the time the coffeemaker beeped to signal that it’d finished brewing, he’d made up his mind. He’d give Cal time to find another place, but he was ending their agreement.
     
    He heard footsteps on the stairs and tensed, his hands curled around the mug he was holding, the heat seeping into his cold hands. Silly for them to be chilled when the temperature was rising into the red outside.

    There was a murmur of voices, and he stood, leaving the mug on the table, and walked out into the hall. His hall. His house. He wasn’t going to hide in the kitchen, too scared to venture out.
     
    In daylight, Barney’s glamour had diminished considerably. His hair was sticking up in places, and his face had a pallor even a tan couldn’t hide. Tom noted the bags under his eyes with a grim satisfaction that he knew was petty.

    “I hear the cab,” Barney said as Tom walked through the archway leading into the hall. “See you around, Tiger.”

    Okay, that was worse than baby.

    Cal yawned widely and scratched at his ass through a navy blue silk robe that hit him mid thigh . Somehow, he pulled it off, if only barely. “Sure thing,” he said, his voice clogged with sleep.

    Barney glanced at Tom and frowned in what seemed to be genuine bewilderment. Great . He’d clearly forgotten Tom existed. A car horn sounded, and Barney shrugged and raised his hand in a casual wave. “Bye.”

    The door slammed behind him, and Cal winced. “Too loud,” he murmured to the door.
     
    “No kiss good-bye?” Tom inquired acidly.

    The look Cal gave him was just as bewildered as the one Barney had, like he had no idea for the reasons behind Tom’s tone. “No.”

    Tom took a few steps forward, anger flaring at Cal’s obliviousness. He’d been wondering if Cal would be contrite, maybe offer