Adopting Jenny by Liz Botts Read Free Book Online Page B

crazy?”
    â€œWhat? I see us married,” Josh said, his eyebrows furrowing. “So we would have gotten married sooner rather than later.”
    â€œWe’re only seniors in college.”
    â€œYeah…so?” Josh crossed his arms, studying me, but anger crept across his features.
    I stopped pacing and put my hands on my hips. “So? We’re too young to get married and raise a kid.”
    Josh scrubbed a hand across his face. “Harlow had a kid at our age. You love Britney.”
    â€œOf course I love Britney. She’s my niece. But I don’t want to end up like Harlow. I want a life.”
    â€œFine,” Josh said. “And you’ll get one. You aren’t pregnant. So what are we worried about?”
    â€œWe’re still having sex.” I arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to deny that this was the root cause of all our problems. If sex wasn’t involved, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I wouldn’t be so emotional over what might have happened. And I wouldn’t be having this apparent early-life crisis. I hadn’t even reached quarter life yet.
    With a sigh, Josh nodded. “Yes, and we’ve been really careful.”
    I laughed, but the sound came out strangled. “Yeah, and Harlow got pregnant while she was on birth control too. Accidents happen, Josh.” I paused. “We never should have started doing it.”
    Anger flashed in Josh’s eyes. “Doing it? Come on, Han. It’s been more than that and you know it.”
    â€œDo I?”
    A hard mask slammed down across Josh’s face. His jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed. “That was low, Hannah. We made the decision together. I thought we were on the same page.”
    I turned away and shrugged. “I guess not.”
    â€œWhy are we even talking about this?” The frustration in Josh’s voice was evident in the rough edge as he bit off each word. Normally I would let my walls fall down so we could work things out, but something kept me from turning around. My anger felt righteous. Did he not worry about becoming a statistic?
    â€œWe’re talking about this because we had a pregnancy scare, and it needs to be discussed.”
    Josh took a few steps toward me. I could hear the floor creak as he came nearer. “ You had a pregnancy scare, Hannah,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “I didn’t even get the chance to be there for you.”
    I felt my heart harden. He was making this about him? The feeling tightened my chest. “Maybe…maybe I didn’t need you to be there for me.”
    Josh reached out, turning me gently to face him. “What are you talking about, Hannah? We’ve been together for five years. I…I need you, just like I thought you needed me.”
    Emotions warred within me; love, anger, frustration. As I looked up into Josh’s face I remembered all the reasons I loved him, but at the same time I remembered all the reasons why things hadn’t been right for the past few months. Drawing in a deep breath, I said, “I don’t know what I need anymore. I do know that I don’t need to be having sex. I don’t need to worry about having a kid.”
    Josh frowned briefly but nodded. “Okay. Fine. We can stop. We’ll wait until you’re ready.”
    I laid my hands on his chest. His heart hammered under my touch. That steady rhythm connected me to him, made the ache in my own chest so much worse. Maybe the thing I needed the most right now was not to be connected to Josh. “I don’t think that’s enough right now.”
    Silence wrapped around us while Josh regarded me. Finally he said, “What are you saying?”
    â€œI’m saying…I’m saying that I think we need to take a break. The possibility of being pregnant opened my eyes a little. What if we’re not right for each other? Or we get in a situation where we have to stay