After All This Time by Nikita Singh Read Free Book Online

breaking all the promises he’d made to himself, repeatedly. Every time he thought about her, he resolved to stop. Each time he called her, he swore it was the last time. Every night when he went to sleep, he vowed the next morning would be a new beginning. But when morning came, he would wake up, expecting to see her beside him.
    The most confusing part of all this for him was that he never really thought of the good times they had spent together, or missed the years of happiness. Whenever he thought of Deepti now, he thought of how it had ended, of what she had done and how it had affected him, changed who he was. And no matter how hard he tried, he knew he could never go back to being the person he was before his love and devotion were paid back for with betrayal and disloyalty. His heartbreak had him doubting that he could ever become whole again.
    After finishing the day’s shopping, when they had returned at 11 p.m., Shourya was exhausted. He had hoped he would fall asleep as soon as he lay down, but when, even after an hour, he found himself lying on his side and staring at the ancient wooden cupboard in the corner of his childhood room, he realized he was not going to sleep any time soon. And that he was going to call her again.
    One thing happened differently though; this time, Deepti answered. And that’s when matters got out of hand. Giving into temptation and calling one’s ex in a moment’s weakness is one thing—it shows the ex that you’re sad and pathetic and are still thinking about them, that you still haven’t moved on and built a new life for yourself since they’ve been gone. But if the ex does take the call, and is listening—oh, that’s when shit really hits the fan—that’s when instead of their just assuming all those things about you,
you
prove all their assumptions right, which is a thousand times worse.
    He was thrown at first, hearing her real voice; he usually got her voicemail. And then he did not know what to feel, what to say, how to talk to the girl he had planned on spending the rest of his life with. He was not angry, not much, that night. He was confused, he was lost, and he was sad. Mostly sad. He missed her, and for once, he did not have the energy to hide his vulnerability and anguish behind the veil of anger or annoyance.
    ‘Hello . . .?’ she said for the fifth time as he pulled himself together.
    ‘Deepti . . .’ he said.
    ‘Shourya? Yes, this is me.’
    ‘How are you?’ he asked softly, hoping she was doing as horribly as he was.
    ‘I’m okay . . .’
    Shourya nodded, pursing his lips.
    ‘How are you, Shourya?’
    ‘What do you care?’
    ‘I do care. You know that.’
    ‘You keep saying that. But I don’t.’
    ‘You do.’
    ‘I really don’t.’
    Deepti sighed loudly. ‘Please let’s not do this, Shourya. I’m tired too. I care about you, and you know that. I want to know how you are doing.’
    He was silent for a minute. ‘I’m not fine.’
    ‘Why not? I want you to be fine.’
    ‘Maybe you don’t always get want you want, after all?’
    ‘Shourya.’
    ‘You wanted me, and then you wanted him and didn’t want me any more, so you left me.’
    ‘I did not leave you.’
    ‘Yeah, right. You didn’t leave me. You simply started dating him too, behind my back, behind his back.’
    ‘He knows everything about me.’
    ‘Everything you have told him.’
    ‘I’ve told him everything.’
    ‘Like you told me everything?’
    ‘Shourya.’
    ‘Saying my name does not change anything.’
    ‘Fine! I lied to you. I accepted that. I have apologized to you for it so many times. We did not tell anyone about us, no one knew we had been dating for four years when we came here, including him. So it was not his fault; he had no idea I was with you when I fell in love with him. Please don’t feel like he betrayed your trust. You mean a lot to him. You were his best friend. It was my fault, I know that. I know I ruined everything. But it has been so long