Aftermath by Ann Aguirre Read Free Book Online

sunburned, chafed, and covered in bug bites, but I’m alive.
    Unlike Doc and Evie.
    With effort I put the guilt aside. There will be a time for me to let it excoriate me. Just not now. So I take stock.
    This ship reminds me of the one Dina won from Surge, at least in terms of size. It’s newer, of course, just built in the revitalized shipyards on Ithiss-Tor. The hub has eight seats and two corridors heading off in opposite directions. One must lead to the cockpit, as we came down the other from the boarding area. A couple of Ithtorians linger here, working on the equipment, but they give me the impression they want to listen in. I wonder if that means they have translation chips. Tiredly, I drop down onto the nearest seat, appointed for Ithtorian comfort, which means the backs are longer and the seats are lower to the floor.
    As I strap in, Vel hands me a packet of paste. Grimacing, I tear it open with my teeth and squeeze a glob into my mouth. “I thought you couldn’t abide this stuff—that you’d rather die than eat it.”
    “Perhaps,” he admits. “But I would not choose that option for you.”
    His words fill me with warmth, despite the situation.
    “Catch us up,” I invite.
    “Shortly after you disappeared”—his vocalizer offers no judgment on the decision—“March commandeered the Dauntless , along with the crew who were fit to fly, and went back up to join the fight.”
    Frag. I understand his state of mind better than I want to. I can imagine what he thought, how he felt, all too well, when he played what might’ve been my final message. He may never speak to me again. This time, I went so far outside the chain of command that I’ll be lucky if they just boot me out of the Armada.
    “When did you get here?” Hit asks.
    “You were fortunate,” Vel says. “The Ithtorian fleet arrived before you changed the beacons. When we joined the battle, it was only the Dauntless , against the whole Morgut vanguard.”
    Shit. I could’ve killed them all. The idea that my impetuous behavior might have hurt my best friend makes me ill. Big-picture thinking has never been my strong suit, but I’ve never been quite so sick over it before. I still stand by my decision, but I am beginning to believe I didn’t consider it from all angles. Instead, I led with my heart and just jumped, which is my greatest strength and my biggest fault.
    Despite my dread, I manage a smile. “You saved their butts, huh?”
    “I did.”
    “Go on,” Hit prompts.
    Yeah, tell us what we need to know. Who survived? Who’s on the Dauntless ?
    “A large number of the Morgut ships were lost in grimspace,” Vel answers. “You timed that gambit well. They had just begun jumps to strike other targets.”
    But not New Terra. Those bastards didn’t touch our homeworld.
    I nod. “Conglomerate losses?”
    “Yes.”
    I imagined as much, but it’s hard as hell to hear it. “Because of me?”
    He declines to reply, which offers its own answer, but I have to know the worst. I persist, “Vel, tell me. How many lost?”
    “Three ships.”
    “How many ?” I repeat hoarsely.
    “Each carried a full crew, Sirantha. Two hundred souls.”
    Dear Mary. I killed six hundred people. And that’s not counting any private vessels that may have been traveling. The math at how many family members will be grieving because of me becomes impossible, astronomical. If I thought the universe hated me after the Sargasso , well, I suspect I haven’t seen anything yet. The public will scream for my blood.
    And they’re right. They are so right. The tally’s too high. This time, it’s no misunderstanding. I’m not the victim of somebody else’s scheme. It’s all me. I steady myself with some effort, repeating my prior conviction. Someone had to make the tough call. It’s regrettable, but you saved lives. You did.
    While I wrestle with the sickness in my stomach, he goes on, “I arrived with twenty ships, and we aided the Dauntless . When only a few