like there are so many things going on inside that
it’s like I have tiny little arrows, poking at me from all
directions. I don’t know what to do, where to turn, how to feel, or
what to believe. I long to be touched but David is not here. Jay
touched me today and I reacted. It was an innocent thing, but I
reacted. I am so confused. I can’t help Sarah.
I don’t know what to say to
her and I’m frustrated. I hate seeing her like this.”
“ Today, I saw the room
again. I couldn’t move. I was trapped. Someone hit me in the face.
What does that mean? I heard someone laugh. Who was it? It sounded
like a man. I also saw my hands.
I can’t even finish that
thought right now. I don’t want to admit what I saw. What’s going
on with me?”
Tears fell down her cheeks as she
slammed the journal shut.
Determined not to face any more right
now, she lay on the bed and closed her eyes.
Chapter 7
Jay spent the rest of the afternoon
with them and Aileen asked him to stay for dinner. “That way, you
can take Paige home to get her things for the funeral and bring her
back. I’m worried about her being out on her own, especially in
this weather!”
“ For goodness sakes! I’m a
cop! I think I can handle a storm! It’s over anyway,” Paige
argued.
“ That’s not the point. You
don’t need to be alone right now. I’m fine with Sarah,” Aileen
fussed at her in a motherly way, pushing Paige’s hair behind her
ears. “I’ll get her ready for dinner.”
“ I agree with Aileen,” Jay
chimed in as he brushed his brown hair back off of his forehead and
scratched behind his ear. “I’m not sure you need to be driving
right now.”
“ I guess I’m outnumbered
then,” Paige said defeated. “I guess that means you’ll stay for
dinner.” She could see Jay’s face light up. His deep brown eyes
seemed to glow. At least Paige knew that he genuinely wanted to be
there. Knowing this made Paige feel strangely happy and less of a
burden.
“ Come on, we’ll go get
your things before Aileen gets dinner on the table.” Jay held out
his arm to lead Paige toward the door.
“ Okay, okay. But don’t get
used to taking care of me. I won’t let you for too long,” she
smiled as she reluctantly took Jay’s arm. Harry ran around their
legs, begging to go too. “You have to stay, sweetie. There’s only
enough room in Jay’s car for two.” Harry’s ears lowered and his
tail dropped. Making three turns, he lay down on the floor. “I’ll
be right back. I promise,” she smiled and pat his head as they
turned to walk out toward the Corvette.
They drove in silence for a while. Jay
was giving her time to think and sort things out. He didn’t know
what to do or say to help or comfort her, even though he
desperately wanted to. He thought about reaching over to hold her
hand but his thoughts were interrupted by a cell phone
ring.
“ Hello?” Paige answered
after digging through her purse to find the phone. “Yea, I’m fine …
I’m heading home to get some things and then heading back to
Aileen’s … Will I see you tomorrow? … I see … I will … Thanks for
calling to check on me … Bye now.” She hung up with a huge sigh.
She looked up at Jay who was pretending not to listen. “That was
David. He’ll be in Minneapolis on business tomorrow.”
“ I’m sorry, Paige. I’m
sure he will be thinking of you while he’s gone and wishing he were
here.”
“ Yea, he has a book
signing that he can’t miss.” Somehow Paige felt as if she were
making excuses for him and wondered if Jay picked up on
that.
The storm was over when they returned
to the Childers’ farm. Aileen insisted that Jay take Paige for a
walk around the farm to let her get some fresh air before dinner.
Harry of course, happily agreed to go along.
“ This place is incredibly
beautiful,” Jay announced as they walked toward the horse barn.
Paige wanted to avoid the fountain now.
“ Yes it is. I can’t wait
to see it in the
Learning to Kill: Stories