Against the Tide by Nikki Groom Read Free Book Online

letting the soap and bubbles run over the rest of my body. I can feel it washing away some of the grime of the previous night. Cocaine, sex, betrayal, it’s all washed away from the surface of my skin, but I know it’s left something deeper and more profound ingrained on my soul. I run my fingers over the new ink on my left side along my ribs. I had it done just three days ago. A black and white butterfly, simple and elegant, with the script underneath-
    ‘ Dreams are free, so free your dreams … ’
    Damien would hate it. He hates it every time I put more ink on my body. The first time we ever had a serious argument was when I let my boss, Torran, give me my first tattoo. I had wanted one for such a long time but didn’t know what I wanted, then Torran said he would draw me something to see if I liked it. A week later he showed me the most beautiful design, I got goose bumps the minute I saw it, so I knew it was perfect for me. An ornate sugar skull amongst a twist of ivy and a beautiful hummingbird on each side. It turned out to be the start of what I would like to extend to a sleeve, eventually. The day I came home with it, I had an excitement buzzing through me to show Damien. I wanted him to be pleased for me, for him to maybe be a part of it and have some input on what to add next. But he despised it. He despised the intimacy of having someone leave you with something so beautiful, so loved, so permanent. He lost his temper that night. He threw things, he yelled, and it took us a while to get back to how we were before that. I was so reluctant to get any new ink after that. But then over months, he changed. He was more controlling, and he kept leaving me for weeks on end, so I guess it was my way of sticking my middle finger up to him. Ironically he thinks I’m marring my body, but he doesn’t think twice about shoving chemicals into his system or encouraging me to do the same.
    As much as the fresh water makes me feel physically better, I still don’t have any clarity in my mind. Where do I go from here? Do I try and find the guy? Do I try and find Damien? I shut off the water and wrap a towel around myself before combing through my hair. I wander back to the bedroom and pick up the cigarette packet that sits on the desk, giving it a shake to see if there’s any in there. It’s half full so I take one out and spark it up, taking a deep draw into my lungs. It sends my head in a spin and I sit on the edge of the bed until it passes. I’m exhausted. No longer driven by adrenaline, I fight to keep my eyes open. I half finish the cigarette then put it in the neck of the empty beer bottle on the bedside cabinet and lie back on the bed. I don’t know where to go from here, sleep seems like the easiest option.

    “You look like shit.” My best mate Jamie greets me as she opens the front door to me and takes in my appearance. She, of course, looks picture perfect. We’re not dissimilar to look at, with brown hair and blue eyes, but she’s at least four inches taller than me and god, doesn’t she like to remind me of that.
    “Thanks, bestie. I love you, too,” I grumble, pushing past her and heading straight for the kitchen. I plonk myself down on a tall stool at the breakfast bar, and curl my arms on the worktop in front of me, resting my head on them with a huff.
    “That bad, huh?” she asks.
    “Worse.”
    “I’ll put a double espresso in your latte today then. Talk whenever you’re ready,” she offers, moving about her kitchen and fiddling with the coffee maker. I met Jamie about the same time as Damien and I got together. We hit it off right away and I’ve never felt closer to anyone than I do her. I sit for a few minutes, trying to figure out where to start. I wait for her to finish with the milk steamer before I lift my head up and blurt out, “I had sex with a stranger. Damien is gone, somewhere, I don’t know where, and … I got a new tattoo.”
    “You WHAT?” she shrieks, dropping the