Alexandr's Reluctant Submissive by Ann Mayburn Read Free Book Online

year was beginning to destroy me, mentally and physically. Did you know that I’m on two different kinds of anti-depressants? I don’t take them to feel good or get high. I have to take them in order to be able to function like a normal human being. My loss of you was so great that it was destroying me. The only way I could be the kind of mother Tatiana deserved was to cut you out of my thoughts as much as I could. And seeing you with all of those women…I used to throw up when I saw an image of you kissing one of them.” She sucked in a gasp and couldn’t believe she’d just decided to let it all hang out.
    One of the things she’d regretted over the years was not being upfront about her needs and emotions. Including her now irrational, raging jealousy. He studied her closely, and she inwardly sighed when she saw the familiar wall in his gaze, the one that blanked out all emotions. Despite the slightly bored look on his face, his attention on her had sharpened to the point where it felt like a touch as he slowly examined her. Then he took a step closer and cupped her neck with his large hands, his thumbs slowly stroking her jaw.
    “I understand why you needed to protect your mind from the loss. Many times I tried to forget you as well, to move on as my friends and family were begging me to, but I could not. Even when you were dead and all hope was lost, I never stopped loving you and only you. Prinsessa moya , do not doubt for a moment that I would not have given anything, anything to just have one more minute in your presence.” His voice thickened and her eyes stung with tears. “I will treat every moment I have with you like it is precious, because it is. Those women served a physical need, my emotions were never involved. They were all aware of this, and fine with it for their own personal reasons. Until I held you in my arms mere hours ago, I thought I was still a widower, and always would be.”
    “Damn it,” she grumbled in a choked voice, “I’m mad at you. Why do you have to make sense? It’s hard to argue with you when you’re being all logical.”
    “So you would rather fight with me?”
    “Yes—no, I don’t know! You make me crazy.”
    Sighing, he gently kissed her lips. “I missed your temper.”
    “I think you need to see a psychiatrist.”
    “I missed the way you like to verbally lash me.”
    “Now I’m wondering if you’re an emotional masochist.”
    “Your body gets hot when you are angry. Is easy to redirect that energy.”
    “What in the hell—”
    Her protest abruptly cut off as he palmed her breast, teasing the already erect nipple with his thumb. Little stinging tingles of pleasure radiated down to her clit when he pinched it, hard. Her gasp was swallowed by his hungry kiss and he caressed her tongue with his own, inviting her to play. Unable to resist him, she threaded her fingers through his hair, drinking him in as he broke their kiss to bite the side of her neck. Another rush of painful tingles seared through her and she moaned, rubbing her hips against his.
    “I remember everything about how to pleasure you. Even when my memory of what our bedroom in Ireland looked like had faded, I still knew every inch of you like I had just held you in my arms.”
    He bit her again, deeper this time, and she cried out as he sucked on the spot hard enough to sting. Wrapping her fingers in his hair, she tried to tug him off, but he was like some predator intent on devouring her and refused to budge. Only when she had what she was sure was a world class hickey on her neck did he pull back. She was ready to scold him, but the feral look in his eyes made her knees weak.
    “I do not care if you were with a thousand men while we were apart—”
    “I wasn’t with anyone else, ever.”
    That seemed to throw him. “Not once?”
    “Never. While you believed you were widowed, I was always still married to you in my heart and mind.”
    Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against hers.