All At Sea by Pepper Ellison Read Free Book Online Page A

got to go there to do it. You can’t call off a marriage by Skype. Well maybe some people can, but I can’t. Every day I can find reasons not to book a ticket to Sydney. Like, in about five minutes from now, when I have finished this message, I’m going to be super, super busy playing hacky sack on the lawn with Lachie, and teasing him about his lats, which he will love.
    She hasn’t spent any big money yet. I have to do it before then.
    I half expect her to turn up here. I have since Christmas. She hints at it. I have this other job I mentioned to you before, and they give me money in a lump sum. I’ve stopped telling her about it, because she always suggests I could use it to buy her a ticket to Honolulu.
    I know that makes me a bastard. I can see you thinking I’m a bastard, and part of me really wants to be the guy who really wants to marry Fifi. I don’t know who he is. We crossed paths at one time.
    I’m not not doing it because I have any plans of going through with the wedding to Fiona, I’m not doing it because I am kind of murdering someone I used to be. It’s difficult. Everybody liked him.
    OK. There’s my pain. You show me yours.
     
     
    Wednesday 26 th February 11.03pm
    —Waikiki Yacht Club—
    I had a good time today, too. A great time. It was nice not talking. We click at the beach, you and me. 
    Calling off a wedding is huge. Awful. I can’t imagine. Even though I’m glad you’re not going through with it, I feel sorry for Fiona. She’s going to be humiliated and devastated. You’re definitely impulsive and stupid sometimes (*back-scrolls through Kody messages...*) but you’re not a bastard. You made a terrible mistake. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her or meant to be cruel. Even if it’s just in that familiar way—like the childhood sweetheart thing—you still love her. It’s still a meaningful kind of love. You’re going to lose that forever. You’re going to lose a lot soon, and it’s going to hurt badly for everyone involved.
    My pain. Well. I guess you’re referring to my experience with love?
    I wouldn’t call it love. I wasn’t affected by it in any life-altering way. Just kind of let down when it ended. It was eleventh grade. He was new, didn’t know anyone yet. His dad took a position with my step-dad’s company and their family came over for dinner. It was Christmas break and we weren’t back to school yet so he hadn’t gotten his bearings about the whole Who’s Who thing of the Mission Hills country club set. He came over to the house on his own for a couple of weeks. We horsed around in the game room, played foosball and darts and whatever. Nobody ever goes down there anymore so we had “the place to ourselves,” so to speak. And then…well. Egh.
    Then school started back. :/
    He was nice, called me his girlfriend, brought me to a couple of the cooler parties. Then someone made a comment about my mother being a gold-digging second wife with no education and he looked at his shoes, looked around the room, pretended not to hear. After that, when he’d touch me, I’d feel a little sick inside. I just felt like he should have said something, stuck up for me. I stopped taking his calls. I think he was relieved.
    We never gelled anyway. When we talked, he’d cut me off when I got on a hot streak about something. He’d interrupt and then never circle back to me. To be fair, I did the same to him. I thought about other things when we were together. You can’t get very far with someone when that’s how you feel about them. It’s not something I ever think about. But you mentioned dating Simon and then seemed like you were asking about it, so there it is. Amelia’s not-so-painful romantic history. Bleh.
    So Lachie punched you, huh? In the face? Is there a bruise?
     
     
    Wednesday 26 th February 11.14pm
    —Rub-a-Dub Pub Coin Laundry & Liquor—
    Nah he punched me in the guts. We rumbled for a while. It’s a bloke thing. You girls should try it, because