All That Lives by Melissa Sanders-Self Read Free Book Online Page B

splintered
     upstairs?
    “I have also sinned.” Father took the rock into his hand and cast it down hard, in anger, against the floor. “Yea, I have
     sinned no more than most men! Why, God, do you inflict this trial on our good family?” To our surprise, the disturbance precipitously
     ceased. We sat a moment in silent shock, then I began to cry with relief, and I had to strain to listen while Mother continued
     her prayers.
    “Father, forgive us and hear our promise unto you; we will forsake you not, and our faith shall be firm in adherence.”
    No one wished to return upstairs and Mother and Father did not request that we do so. They retired to their bed and squeezed
     Joel and Richard in with them, while Drewry, John Jr. and I made do with quilts on chairs before the hearth. The lamps burned
     without wavering, and the hissing of the fire was the only sound for the rest of the night.

    The next day was a Sunday and at dawn, though the whole family was weak and fragile with no sleep, Father woke us.
    “Get dressed, for we are going to church. I have been to your rooms and all is intact.”
    We made a path in the rocks piled on the stairs and went to dress. My room was not the heap of wreckage I expected, instead
     all was normal, except my bed was unmade and missing the quilts I’d left downstairs. From my window I saw the new day, and
     though the sun glinted under the clouds, there was the promise of it in the sky. I changed from my night-clothes into a cotton
     petticoat and my pokeberry-dyed church dress. The light of day made the dark experience of the night before more difficult
     to understand. How could it be that we should suffer so, and yet arise with our environment undisturbed and as it always had
     been?
    I heard the sound of many steps in the downstairs hallway and I peeked out to see Father instructing Dean and Chloe in removing
     the rocks from the steps. A tight feeling of fear grew in my stomach, and I hoped Dean and Chloe could finish the task before
     we returned from church, as I could not stand the sight of those rocks. They were a too vivid reminder we were experiencing
     something very much out of the ordinary in our house. I hoped Father would tell the Reverend Johnston of our troubles, and
     I thought it would be a great relief for me to inform Thenny of my suffering, but at breakfast Father squashed that plan,
     reminding all of us we must keep a vow of silence regarding the dreadful disturbances.
    “Tell no one,” Father ordered, giving each of us his strictest gaze, insuring we would be circumspect.

    We rode in our black buggy down the Adams―Cedar Hill high road, past Kate Batts’s house to Jesse and Martha’s homestead. We
     picked them up on Sundays, for Mother enjoyed the opportunity to converse with the newlyweds. Without permission to speak
     of the one thing on my mind, I found I could not speak of anything at all, and I paid no attention to the idle chitchat that
     passed between Martha and Mother, though I did notice Martha did most of the talking, describing in detail a problem she was
     having germinating peas.
    At church, I found the sermon not particularly inspiring or relevant to our troubles. The Reverend read of Jacob and Esau,
     emphasizing how Jacob fooled his father, but not God. I prayed silently while he spoke, hoping in His own house I might have
     better success with my prayers and pleas for the Lord to pity us and put an end to our misfortune. When the sermon was over
     and we were released out-of-doors, Thenny tried to speak to me.
    “What is the matter, Betsy Bell? Are you ill? Why was your family absent from lessons all this week?”
    I only shrugged and I could not form a proper aspect to reply to her queries regarding my welfare, and the Reverend’s talk
     of fooling people but not God made me feel guilty. I thought to tell her I was a young woman now, though the blood had nearly
     finished, but it was not the time.
    “You
look
ill!” Thenny was