All The Nice Girls by John Winton Read Free Book Online Page A

follow it up. ‘Now take the next item. To fit a cover over the junction box at the end of the Captain’s bunk. Do you know why the last captain put that in? It’s not because he doesn’t like looking at junction boxes. This again is something I know from personal experience. When I slept in that bunk I found that every time I turned over, my big toe caught in the junction box, there was a blinding great blue flash and the gyro compass stopped! Now how about that one! ‘
    ‘But this is ridiculous,’ said Mr Swales, the Principal Electrical Overseer, peevishly. ‘This defect list is a standard one for all ships of the class. We can’t make exceptions for one ship . . .’
    ‘I like the way you talk about “all ships of the class”,’ The Bodger said grimly. ‘We’ve only got one of the class at the moment. We’re still waiting for the others.’
    Dagwood had not noticed Mr Swales before he drew attention to himself, but once he had looked at him closely Dagwood knew that he had seen Mr Swales many many times before. Mr Swales, pale-faced, spectacled, bald-headed, sat behind a thousand Admiralty office desks, insisting on the correct forms in quintyplicate. Mr Swales’s voice, querulous and dogmatic, spoke over a thousand Admiralty telephones complaining that at least three months’ notice was required before any action could be taken. Mr Swales’s spidery signature endorsed a hundred thousand demand notes returned to their despairing senders because the item was not held in stock. In fact, Dagwood knew Mr Swales very well indeed.
    ‘It may be true that we’re using a standard list for all ships of the class,’ said Dagwood. ‘But we’re not refitting all ships of the class. We’re refitting this one. If we don’t make allowances for the individual case of this ship, then most of what’s been said has about as much bearing on H.M.S. Seahorse as the eleven thousand monographs written on General Wallenstein since the Thirty Years’ War.’
    Mr Swales had opened his mouth to answer when he saw the note Mr Tybalt had pushed in front of him.
    ‘Whose side are you on?’ the note asked.
    Mr Swales sat back, flushed and biting his lips, and said no more. Had Dagwood studied Mr Swales’s face a second time he would have realised that General Wallenstein had made him an enemy.
    Mr Swales was not alone in his dislike of General Wallenstein. Sir Rollo regarded Dagwood’s speech as an impertinent intrusion. In spite of Sir Rollo’s hostility, The Bodger’s rhetoric might have won the battle for Broody’s White Defect List. But after General Wallenstein, the day was irretrievably lost.
    ‘These remaining items will have to be discussed later,’ said Sir Rollo curtly.
    After that there was no more to be done except for Sir Rollo to close the meeting, which he did with another speech, a short one, which ended, ‘I repeat, gentlemen, every endeavour therefore must, and will, be made to make this job an undertaking worthy of Harvey McNichol and Drummond craftsmen.’
    Mr Tybalt came out of the refit conference wearing the determined look of a man confronted by a soaring mountain which, no matter what the cost, had to be climbed.’
     

5
     
    When Dagwood went down to look at Seahorse the next morning, he was astonished by the work which had already been done on her. Someone had obviously risen very early that morning and wrenched half her casing away. Long bald patches of the pressure hull were now showing and pipes normally decently covered were exposed to the light, giving the submarine an extraordinarily naked, helpless appearance. A travelling crane was preparing to lift yet another section. Ollie was arguing with a watchman sitting in a little hut by the gangway.
    ‘I never thought I’d see the day,’ Ollie said to Dagwood. ‘They won’t let me down my own submarine.’ Ollie turned back to the watchman. ‘Look here, this gentleman is the Electrical Officer of this submarine. He’ll vouch for