An Affair Before Christmas by Eloisa James Read Free Book Online

Villiers said. “I made a mistake with Benjamin…the Duke of Berrow.” Jemma raised her eyes but he forestalled her. “I know that you know of Benjamin’s suicide, and of my role in his death. You and I agreed to be friends; it may be that my friendship is a tainted thing.”
    “I would not agree. It is true that Benjamin chose to kill himself—”
    “After losing a game of chess to me.”
    “That is no reflection on your friendship. Benjamin always rushed into actions that he later regretted.”
    “True…true.”
    He was looking down at his hands, his eyes shadowed by long eyelashes. Suddenly he looked up and she felt herself growing a bit pink at something in his eyes. “I have decided to make no more mistakes with friends,” he said, his voice rough.
    “ If you win a game from me, you may feel free to point out my errors,” she said. “I am so hideously competitive that I will certainly kill you rather than myself.”
    “Bitch,” he said unemotionally.
    She laughed. “But you see what good friends we can be? My passion for chess is equal to Benjamin’s, but when I lose a match the only thing I want is to play again.”
    “And is chess your only passion?”
    She sat for a moment, before deciding to answer truthfully. “I suppose it is. I hold my friends and husband in great esteem; I adore my brother. But my heart is in chess. I have observed that those who are masters at the game rarely find deep passion elsewhere.”
    “I would appear to confirm your theory, since I have no family to adore and thus my interests have lingered on the opposite sex in a fleeting way.”
    “As have mine,” she acknowledged. “’Tis a grave fault that has resulted in a great deal of scandal.”
    “Yet I am not so dismissive of the possibility of love as you are. You made me an offer of companionship a few weeks ago,” Villiers said. “I told you then that I would not cuckold my old friend Beaumont.”
    Jemma froze. She had offered an affaire, in a fit of rage at her husband, and Villiers had refused.
    “I have changed my mind,” he said. “In the five minutes I was at the mercy of your brother’s sword, I remembered that I have never loved a woman. And that it is one of the experiences that I dearly wished to have many years ago. I cannot explain how it has so unaccountably passed me by.”
    Jemma’s lips felt stiff. “Surely you are not saying that you love me.”
    “No,” he said consideringly, “but I could do so. I believe, in fact, that you are the only woman I have met whom I could love. Love is always a decision, you know. Though I love chess, I find the wish in me to love something else as well. Perhaps you and I, Jemma, could find love together.”
    “Unless we are incapable of true love.”
    “Do you believe that of yourself? I have loved, though not in a sexual way.”
    “Benjamin?” she asked.
    “Indeed. And”—he raised his eyes again, and the shock of it went to the bottom of her spine—“and Elijah. Your husband.”
    “You and Beaumont were childhood friends,” she said. “But?”
    “He was golden, you know, even then.”
    “ My husband?”
    “He was full of plans, to change the world, to change the village. He talked of them constantly.”
    “He’s still full of plans,” Jemma said feelingly. “I do believe he thinks the House of Lords wouldn’t function without him.”
    “He was always so,” Villiers said. “To be fair, I believe he may be right. He is not only intelligent, but incorruptible, which is a rare value in a politician.”
    “What happened to your friendship?”
    There was a queer lopsided smile on his lips. “What ever happens to men?”
    “A woman.”
    “Her name was Bess. I wish I could speak rhapsodically about her, but the truth is that I hardly remember her face. Though I loved her dearly—or thought I did.”
    “And Beaumont did as well?” Jemma laughed a bit. “I can just imagine the two of you, sparring over Bess’s attentions. From her