Are You Nuts? by Mark Richard Zubro Read Free Book Online

rototilled the whole thing and planted grass seed. I thought in the future I might hire someone to put in a wooden deck.
    The north wing has the master bedroom, library, and electronics center. The opposite wing has the kitchen, office, and guest rooms. The center core is a vast living room.
    I furnished the new house carefully. Losing everything in a fire is horrific, but it does give you a chance to start totally fresh assembling a household. The best example I can think of to illustrate my decorating style is my search for furniture. I was looking for a couch, so I became a denizen of every furniture store within fifty miles. I sat and/or laid on one davenport after another until I found the most comfortable one and then bought it. I used the same method for finding recliners, love seats, our king-sized bed, and other odds and ends. After picking out something, I would then tell the salesperson that I wanted items to match what I had just purchased. The result is I have clumps of furniture that match perfectly in juxtaposition with nearby groups that don’t necessarily go together. On the other hand, nothing is extravagantly flashy, so nothing clashes horribly. However, my goal was achieved. All of it was immensely comfortable and based on what I wanted.
    Sometimes I’d bring Scott with me on these buying excursions. He has less taste than I do, but his place has an organized-to-perfection look. That’s because he cheated and hired a decorator to help him. This I refused to do.
    For the walls, I picked out the posters or prints I liked the most and had them framed. Hanging in the library are my favorites of the moment—posters from the movies Stonewall and Beautiful Thing . I have on order an action shot of Scott pitching. He looks incredible with his muscles straining, crotch-cup bulging, full color, one of a kind. A friendly newspaper photographer gave me the original.
    I had spent most of the last spring working on the design for the fields within two hundred yards of the house. With the help of various nursery personnel and landscape artists, I had planned carefully. I took great care to assure tons of shade for the house without blocking any of the view. By the time all the trees and bushes that were planted grow, it will look like a well-organized miniforest. Scott and I looked very butch in late winter and early spring, muffled to the eyes against the cold as we helped plant some of the flora.
    I discovered the keys to a successful forest were don’t overplant and have patience. The drive to the front door is going to be shaded by poplars and oaks that will meet overhead. Quite often I picked trees that bloomed most gloriously in spring—crab apples and dogwood—or that turned the most vibrant colors in fall—tupelos, sugar maple, hickory, along with stands of sassafras bushes.
    One-third of the basement is a workout room. Before supper, I spent an hour down there using the new equipment Scott had bought me as a housewarming present.
    A little after ten, Scott called from Seattle. He gave me the nightly report. “I did two sports-radio call-in shows and an early-morning television program. It is a good thing I’ve learned the answers and the questions by heart.”
    When I was with him, I had experienced the same phenomenon. The difficulty was the questions might be the same to us, but the answers were generally fresh to each audience that was listening.
    I said, “You sound exhausted.”
    â€œI’m whipped. I walked out of another interview before it even started.”
    â€œWhat happened?”
    â€œThe usual.”
    From the first show we did, both he and I had refused to be on any program with a representative from the religious right or any other hate group. We made this clear before agreeing to be on any program. Three times, when we walked in, a host had said something like “By the way, I just happen to have so and so from …” And it would