Ascend by Amanda Hocking Read Free Book Online Page A

             
    “Because.” Finn stepped toward me, stopping right in front of me.
    He looked down at me, his
eyes mesmerizing me the way they always did. He reached up, brushing back a
tear from my cheek.
    “Why?” I asked, my voice
trembling.
    “I needed you to know,”
he said as if he didn’t truly understand it himself.
    He set the box on the
dresser beside me, and his hand went to my waist, pulling me to him. I let go
of the dresser and let him. My breath came out shallow as I stared up at him.
    “Tomorrow you will belong
to someone else,” Finn said. “But tonight, you’re with me.”
    His mouth pressed against
mine, kissing me with that same rugged fierceness I had come to know and love.
I wrapped my arms around him, gripping onto him as tightly as I could. He
lifted me up, still keeping his lips on mine as he carried me over to the bed.
    Finn lowered me down on
the bed, and he was on top of me within seconds. I loved the feel of his body
on mine, the weight of it pushing on me. His stubble scraped my skin as he
covered my face and neck with kisses.
    His hands went to the
straps of my dress, pulling them down, and I realized with some surprise how
far things might actually go tonight. He’d always put the brakes on things
before they got too heated, but his hands were cupping my breasts as he kissed
me.
    I reached up, unbuttoning
his shirt so fast, one of the buttons snapped off. I ran my hands over his
chest, delighting in the smooth contours of his muscles and the pounding of his
heart. He leaned down, kissing me hungrily again, and his bare skin pressed to
mine.
    His skin smoldered against
me, his mouth searched mine, and his arm was around me, holding me tighter
still.
    As we kissed, my heart
swelled with happiness, and a surge of relief washed over me when I realized my
first time would be with Finn. But that thought was immediately darkened when I
realized something else. My very first time might be with Finn, but that would
also be my only time with him.
    I still had to marry Tove
tomorrow. And even if I didn’t marry him, I could never be with Finn.
    The last time I had
really even seen Finn was at the night before my engagement party, nearly three
months ago, when we had kissed in the library. He’d been horrified by what he’d
done, that he’d let himself choose a moment with me over duty, even for a
second. He’d left the palace as soon as he had chance.
    The mission to track down
the other changelings, he’d volunteered for, and part of me believed it was to
get away from me. We’d barely said a word to each other in months. I had been
without him, taking over the palace, training with Tove, and preparing for my
wedding.
    If I slept with Finn now,
that’s exactly what would happen again, the same thing that always happens
whenever we get close. He would vanish immediately. He hides away in shame and
avoids me.
    And I couldn’t bare that this
time. I couldn’t give myself to someone completely only to have them disappear
from my life. I needed him to be here with me, instead of leaving in shame. I
needed Finn to choose me over duty, and the best he could offer me was one
night.
    Even if I slept with Finn
tonight, it wouldn’t mean anything. He would be gone tomorrow, and I’d be even
more heartbroken than before.
      “What’s wrong?” Finn asked, noticing a change
in me.
    “I can’t,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”
    “You’re right. I’m
sorry.” Finn looked ashamed, and he scrambled to get off me. “I don’t know what
I was thinking. I’m sorry.” He stood and hurriedly buttoned his shirt.
    “No, Finn.” I sat up,
adjusting my dress. “You don’t have to be sorry, but… I can’t do this anymore.”
    “I understand.” He
smoothed out his hair and looked away from me.
    “No, Finn, I mean…” I
swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath. “I can’t love you anymore.”
    He looked up at me, his
eyes startled and hurt, but he