Astor Place Vintage: A Novel by Stephanie Lehmann Read Free Book Online

over.
    It’s scary to feel alone again.
    I deleted his number off my phone. Accepted congratulations from my friends. Joined Match.com, JDate, and Chemistry. Tried speed dating, wine-tasting mixers, cooking-for-singles workshops.
    But in the end . . .
    I missed Jeff.
    We are all alone.
    He called one day during that horrible week between Christmas and New Year’s. Said he was miserable without me. Had to end his marriage. Wanted to see me.
    And opening up to new challenges may lead to the feelings of purpose and intimacy that you desire so much.
    Much as it annoyed me, my heart filled with hope. He picked me up in a limo and took me to Le Bernardin, the most expensive seafood restaurant in New York City. I wore a black tulle strapless cocktail dress with embroidered dots and velvet trim.
    So rather than feel ashamed for your past, you should feel proud of every experience you’ve had.
    He told me he’d decided to divorce his wife. He would do it after his younger son went to college.
    Because to be alive is to be engaged, take chances and live in the present . . .
    His younger son was in the second grade. If I still wanted him when the time came, we’d be together.
    Opening up to new challenges that will make you feel more vital and alive.
    We ended up at my place, having the greatest sex ever. Started seeing each other as if we’d never broken up. I put his number back on speed dial.
    So now I’d like you to go to that place where you feel strong and secure.
    When I told my friends we were together again, they didn’t want to hear about it.
    The place of wisdom.
    I felt like an idiot.
    The department store.
    I wasn’t getting any younger. Soon no man would want me. I’d be dead stock.
    Wandering up and down the aisles, looking at dresses  . . . shoes  . . . handbags. Everything you could ever want.
    Dr. Markoff was really trying to make this department store concept work.
    It’s a wonderful place, isn’t it? So many tempting things, but also wisdom.
    It wasn’t gonna work.
    Somewhere in Altman’s, there’s a department of wisdom where you can find everything you need to know.
    If only. Right behind the shoe department, past the escalator . . .
    When you visit this place, you’ll achieve a sense of calm that will allow you to fall into a deep, restful sleep.
    Don’t bet on it.
    I’m going to stop talking now. You can take as much time as you need to let your mind wander wherever it needs to go.
    This was idiotic. I didn’t even like department stores anymore. I should’ve picked something else, like my mother’s backyard. Why didn’t I think of that before?
    But no, actually. Altman’s probably was the right choice. Elegant but not snobby, it was the place where I went for peace and quiet. I could escape from the sound of my parents fighting in the next room and transport myself back to a more innocent time, or just wander around when I wanted to be alone but not lonely. The bulk of their customers were secretaries from the Empire State Building across the street, or little old ladies who wore hats and gloves and rubbers over their shoes. Those ladies had shopped there for years and loved being served by gray-haired saleswomen who knew their names. I found it all tremendously reassuring.
    The clothing selection wasn’t the best, and almost everything they sold could be found cheaper somewhere else, but the atmosphere was all on the house. Even the ladies’ room was more luxurious than our living room. Red velvet chairs, ornate gold-framed mirrors, marble drinking fountains with a spout in the shape of a dragon’s head. Not exactly a home away from home; more like a mansion away from home.
    The highlight of any visit—whether alone or with my mom—was the Charleston Gardens Restaurant on the top floor. One side of the room had an actual re-creation of a Southern plantation facade, complete with white columns, shuttered windows, and lit lamps. Trees painted on the walls made it feel