At Any Moment (Gaming The System Book 3) by Brenna Aubrey Read Free Book Online Page A

robbed of my choice.
    Because my life wasn’t just about me. It was about all those who loved me—Adam, my mom, my friends. It was about my future, all the years I still had before me to live for myself, for them.
    Anger and bitterness stung the backs of my eyes. I’d make this choice for them, because I loved them and I wanted to live for them. But it wasn’t fair. It was so not fair. In order to save my own life, I had to destroy that tiny life inside of me before it ever had a chance.
    When Adam came out of the bathroom, one towel around his waist and another around his shoulders to towel his hair dry, he found me like that. Lying flat on my back, both hands on my stomach. His expression blank, his dark eyes zeroed in on my hands, narrowing slightly before he turned away. He’d easily deduced what was going through my mind. It wouldn’t have been hard.
    It had been going through both of our minds constantly for the past few days.
    I sat up, staring out the window as he dressed. When he was done, he came and sat beside me on the bed.
    “Hi,” he said.
    “Good morning.”
    “Want some breakfast?”
    I shook my head.
    “Not even a little tea or dry toast?”
    I shook my head harder.
    “You’re green.”
    I nodded.
    “You’re also not talking.”
    We held each other’s gaze. My heart leapt into my throat. He felt distant from me, guarded. I wanted him so damn much. I wanted to stay here and be with him. I wanted his love. It felt less accessible now than ever before. Like a distant dream I never had any hope of attaining.
    And what I wanted more than anything was to live. For him. For my mom. For my friends. I’d find a way to live with myself later.
    “I’ll do it,” I finally croaked.
    His brows drew together. “What?”
    “The termination. I’ll do it.”
    Adam looked like he was about to fall over in relief. For long minutes, he didn’t move, didn’t smile, didn’t breathe, just watched me.
    “Tomorrow?” he asked.
    I nodded.
    He sighed. “Okay.”
    I felt cold inside. Numb. Why should I feel guilty for trying to save my own life? I couldn’t answer that question. Part of me wanted to shrivel up and die right there. Part of me, a larger part, was gearing up for the epic battle ahead.
    “I need you,” I said. “I need your help.”
    He put his hand to my face, cupped my cheek. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.” I fell against him and he pulled me to him. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the part of me that was curled up and rocking in the corner, already wanting to weep with the loss we were about to face.

Chapter Six
Adam
    Emilia spent the rest of New Year’s Day in her room at Heath’s after I dropped her off. Connor, Heath’s new boyfriend, was there and they were on the couch watching Sherlock . I stayed for a few minutes to trade pleasantries with them. Things between Heath and me were still tense. I was pissed at him for helping Emilia keep her secrets. He was pissed at me for getting her pregnant.
    It would blow over, maybe, eventually. I hoped it would, because I liked Heath. Nevertheless, I did plan on depriving him of his roommate. I’d have to discuss living arrangements with Emilia soon. Once things settled down, I was going to make a good case for her to come back and live with me. I needed her near, needed to know she would be okay. I needed to take care of her.
    But for now I needed to give her some time alone. She’d made an agonizing decision and though I was so relieved I couldn’t even think straight, I knew she must also be dealing with a lot of doubt and self-loathing. I hoped it wouldn’t last long. She needed all of her strength, all of her fight to face what lay ahead.
    I followed her into her room. “So…should I come get you tomorrow morning?”
    Emilia was picking up discarded clothes from the floor and throwing them into a laundry bag, apologizing for the mess.
    She cleared her throat. “Yes…I’ll have to make an