At Last by Jacquie D'Alessandro Read Free Book Online

“Ian...I cannot marry you. I do love you--so much that it is
nearly impossible to recall that I have responsibilities beyond my
own happiness and selfish desires. Which is the biggest reason I
had to leave you in Scotland--because I was so tempted to forget
everything but you. To think of nothing, no one but myself. But I
cannot think only of myself. I cannot risk any sort of scandal. If
there was only me to consider...but there’s not. Perhaps if Edward
were an adult...but he’s not. If I were younger or you were
older...but that isn’t the case. I wish with all my heart our
circumstances were different...but they’re not.”
    Ian heard her words, but
after she’d said I cannot marry
you, they all blurred together. It didn’t
really matter what she said. In spite of her regret, her resolute
determination was clear to see. His heart screamed at him to argue,
to persuade her, but his mind knew there was no point. Perhaps she
loved him, but it didn’t matter. Because she didn’t love him
enough. And no amount of arguing or persuasion would change
that.
    He had to clear his throat to locate his
voice. “Well, that’s that then.” He sounded as gutted as he
felt.
    She reached out and rested her hand on his
chest. Right above the heart she’d just broken. “Yes, but we still
could have tonight, Ian. One more night. And then say
good-bye.”
    He briefly closed his eyes and pressed her
hand tighter against his chest. Then shook his head. “I can’t have
you again then let you go. I can’t have you again then say
good-bye. I want it all, Sophia. All or nothing.”
    A single tear slid down her cheek and fell
on his cuff. “Then I’m afraid it’s...nothing.”
    Ian watched the droplet soak into the white
linen, until the tear was gone, as if it had never existed. Just
like the happiness they’d shared last summer. He gave a tight nod,
then without a word he crossed the room and pulled the bell cord.
Only several seconds passed until a knock sounded. At Ian’s bid to
enter, the butler opened the door. “Please have the carriage
brought ‘round and see that Lady Winterbourne is escorted safely
home.”
    “ Yes, my lord.”
    The butler withdrew, and Ian turned to
Sophia. He almost wished he could take some satisfaction in the
fact that she looked as pale and eviscerated as he felt, but it was
impossible to feel anything when his entire body was numb. Heavy
silence fell between them. He searched his mind for something to
say, but he had no words left.
    The butler returned a moment later. “The
carriage is ready, my lord,” he said, then withdrew.
    Ian watched Sophia cross the room. Felt her
touch his hand. Heard her say softly, “I wish you much happiness,
Ian.” And then she quit the room. He stared at the empty doorway
after she exited then listened for the sound of the front door
closing. The click reverberated through his mind like a death
knell.
    She was gone.
    And she’d taken his heart with her.
     
     
    Chapter 7
     
    The following afternoon,
Sophia, exhausted after a sleepless night, reluctantly agreed to
receive Christine, but only because Christine had scrawled it’s urgent I see you on
the back of her card. The instant her normally unflappable friend
entered the drawing room Sophia knew something was
amiss.
    “ What’s wrong?” she asked,
taking Christine’s proffered hands. Her concern doubled when she
felt her friend’s fingers trembling.
    Confusion passed over Christine’s features,
then her eyes widened. “Dear God, you don’t know.”
    “ Know what?”
    “ Let’s sit.”
    Sophia preferred to stand, but given
Christine’s pallor, she led her friend to the settee. “Tell me
what’s wrong,” Sophia said. “Are you ill?”
    “ Only in my heart—for
you.”
    “ Me? Why?”
    Christine squeezed Sophia’s hands. “You were
seen sharing a passionate kiss with the very young Scottish Lord
Marlington on the terrace at the Benningfield soiree last evening.
You were further observed