loaded his fears were confirmed. Her wall at first seemed innocuous enough, littered with the updates that had inserted little jolts of joy into his news feed, but it was something on the left side of the page beneath the picture that now made him sick to his stomach:
Friends (1)
Jason Moreland
“Oh, snap ,” Rakesh breathed.
The status updates were for his eyes only. Rakesh was right, something crazy was going on. The boys exchanged a look, and Jason slowly backed away from the computer as if it were capable of attacking him.
“I guess the good news is that now we know you’re the only guy in Lacey’s life?”
Jason attempted to laugh, but the noise sounded strange and hollow. He really had wanted to be the only guy in Lacey’s life. Through his daze, he heard Rakesh asking him what he was going to do now.
“I’m going to confront her.” The response was as surprising to him as it seemed to be to Rakesh. But after the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was the only option.
“What are you going to say?”
Jason shook his head. “That is a good question. I’ll let you know when I figure out the answer.”
That night, in bed, he toggled back and forth between his messages and the memorial page. Seven hundred forty-six people liked it. In the past he had found himself ranting over the limits of the like button. “Like” had no place when it came to a memorial dedicated to a sixteen-year-old girl who died. But that was the least of his problems right now. Seven hundred forty-six people wanted Lacey Gray to rest in peace. But Lacey Gray also had one friend no one knew about.
J ason agonized over what to write to Lacey, but in the end she made it easy for him. Well, not exactly easy. His dreams that night were haunted by visions of himself trying and failing to compose messages to her. In one, he found himself at a typewriter equipped with keys too heavy to use. He pushed on them with all his might, but couldn’t get a single letter to stick to the blank page. He was frantically searching for ink for a quill when his alarm roused him in the morning.
Still half asleep, he sat down at his computer and after he’d fumbled for his glasses, noticed the green dot next to Lacey’s name. Without thinking, he typed, “I need to talk to you. It’s important.” It was so simple. He yawned and by the time he reopened his eyes, she’d replied.
Lacey: I swear I’m not blowing you off.
Lacey: Good morning, BTW.
Despite himself, Jason grinned.
Jason: Good morning yourself.
Lacey: Seriously, though, I have a test and I’m going to be late for school.
Jason: Can we talk later?
Lacey: J, don’t hate me, but this is a really bad time. Ughhhh, I’m so sorry, there’s something going on with me right now. I need a couple days to myself. I promise, I will hear you out and explain everything after this weekend. Can you just trust me that long?
Jason: Yeah, of course.
Lacey: There’s one more thing. A favor. I hate to ask.
Jason: …
Lacey: Can you not tell anyone we’re talking?
Lacey: IT’S NOT YOU. I swear. And I know it sounds weird since it’s not like you go to Brighton, but just until Monday.
Jason blinked. Why didn’t she want anyone to know they were talking? Mark was shouting at him from downstairs to make sure he was awake. He yelled back that he was on his way.
Jason: My friends already know.
Lacey: Rakesh?
Jason: Yeah.
Lacey: I figured. Can you not tell anyone else? I’m not trying to be shady, but I really gtg. Monday, I swear. Do you trust me?
For someone who was clearly harboring a huge secret, Lacey was awfully big on trust.
Jason: Yeah.
Lacey: You are a lifesaver.
It was these last cryptic words he played over and over to himself later. You are a lifesaver. Lacey trusted him. He chose to focus on that when he recounted the exchange to Rakesh at lunch, though he purposefully left out the part where she had requested he not tell anyone, instead asking of his own