see it that way. I knew that later on, after whatever pills he’d taken had worked their way out of his system that Mike would tell me I made a big deal out of nothing and that I needed to learn how to chill. One of us had to be the worrier though, because my brother seemed to think that no matter what happened things would work out, and I happened to know for a fact that wasn’t true.
As a child Mike had been as damn close to perfect as a son could get, but after my dad decided he’d had enough of his disappointing children and pretty much abandoned us, my brother went wild doing all the things he’d always been too scared to when we were under my parent’s roof. And when Mike got upset, which thankfully didn’t happen too often, he got pretty self-destructive.
Justin sat beside me and placed his hand on the small of my back. “You all right?”
I sat up straight and took my hands from my face. “Yeah.” I took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine.”
Justin’s eyes darted around the room. He was probably wondering how in the world I managed to lure him to my ghetto neighborhood and rundown apartment. I waited to hear what was on his mind. “So you live here with your brother?”
“Don’t be jealous,” I replied, sarcastically, trying to ease the tension I felt inside.
“Well, I’m not going to lie. It’s not the nicest apartment in the world, but. . .”
“But it’s all I can afford for now. I have tuition to pay for and the job at the community center is great, but it’s not exactly the best paying.” I tried not to sound bitter.
“Your parents can’t help you out at all?”
“They can. They just don’t want to.”
“I can’t believe that. You’re like a perfect daughter. You go to college, you have a job. . .and you’re a really good person.”
“How do you know I’m a good person?” Compliments made me uncomfortable, especially ones about my character. I wanted to be good, but most of the time I didn’t see myself that way. I saw myself through my father’s eyes. Lazy, selfish, shallow. It had been years since I’d seen my father and had to hear him say those things to me. Fourteen years of having him raise me had been enough to convince me it was true. For four years I was forced to sit through weekly mandatory counseling sessions at the group home, but the social worker assigned to me was more interested in staring at her manicure than helping me. “It’s not like we’ve known each other that long.”
“Long enough for me to figure that out about you. I see the way you are with the kids at the center. They really like you, you know.”
“Really?” I turned to look at Justin’s face. He seemed sincere as he nodded, but suddenly I was desperate to change the subject. So. . .” I finally said after a few moments of silence passed. “How about we talk about you instead?”
“Sure. What do you want to know?”
“What was it like being in the Navy? Did you get to go to any fun places?”
“There was boot camp and corps school in Chicago. Then I got stuck at Camp Lejeune, or swamp Lejeune as everyone calls it, which sucked almost as bad as Afghanistan did.”
“You went to Afghanistan? What was that like?” The truth was Justin was the first military person I’d ever met, and I found the whole idea of it sort of fascinating.
“Pretty boring.” Justin’s face went blank and after a moment he stood and started for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To get your brother some water.”
A minute later Justin was back with a glass of water in his hand. He was able to get Mike to take a few sips.
Justin sat back down beside me, the glass of water still in his hands. He wiped the beads of condensation off with his fingertips “So why won’t your parents help you?”
“Long story.”
“You always say that when you don’t want to answer something.”
“It’s not like you’ve told me your whole life’s story either. And we agreed that you’d go
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley