Bad Girls by Rebecca Chance Read Free Book Online

you need me! Jodie Foster, Portia de Rossi – the celebrity rug-munchers aren’t exactly racking up the nominations or the big bucks, are they? You thought it was too dangerous to set Jennifer up with a gay guy, ’cause if that blows up in your face, everyone looks bad! Oh no, you wanted me ! I’m the big score, ’cause everyone knows damn well that I’m as straight as Sean mother-fucking Penn!’
    ‘Ew, that animal ,’ Jennifer muttered.
    ‘So don’t play this like I’m the total fuckup here!’ Joe looked at the beer, swore in fury, and slammed it down, unopened, on the granite surface of the bar. ‘I can’t believe I’m pounding the beers like this! Man , you got me all wound up!’
    ‘You should switch to low-carb,’ Jennifer offered.
    ‘Tastes like shit,’ Joe said gloomily, sinking down in one of the big leather recliners and kicking out the footrest. He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. ‘I’m fucked, aren’t I? These pictures, coming out before Mr Paws . . . ugh, I’m sorry, Jen.’ He looked directly at his fiancée, the whites of his eyes a little red now, but their bright candid blue as clear and charming as ever. ‘And I’m sorry I called you two rug-munchers,’ he added to placate a fuming Carmen. ‘It’s not like I don’t like a pussy appetizer myself.’
    ‘ Please .’ Jen rolled her huge, beautiful eyes. ‘Like I care what you do in bed.’
    Carmen stalked across the room, round the back of the sofa, to lean down and wrap her arms around Jennifer’s neck. Jennifer turned to kiss her lover’s cheek lightly.
    ‘You know how this looks, Joe,’ Carmen said, calming down as Jennifer reached up to stroke one of her ringlets. ‘Like Jennifer’s a total patsy for staying with you. This wasn’t just getting drunk in a bar, letting off steam by flirting with some girls. This was getting blown by a stripper.’
    ‘She was a nice chick,’ Joe muttered. ‘We all had a good time.’
    ‘I can stage all the apologies I want, but this is the worst time possible. Your movie’s coming out . . . it could tank Jen’s career if she doesn’t dump you. She’s supposed to be a strong modern role model! Strong modern role models don’t stick with guys who cheat on them!’
    ‘Ah, fuck ,’ Joe said, once again, the weight of what Carmen was saying slowly sinking in. ‘I’ve got no choice, do I?’
    The two women shook their heads in unison.
    ‘I’ve booked you into Cascabel from tomorrow,’ Carmen said. ‘And I’m putting out a press statement from the both of you. I’ve got the first draft for you to look at.’
    With increasing misery, Joe began to realize what was in store for him over the coming month, which he had planned to spend chilling out, catching up on his TV shows – there was a boxed set of The Wire he’d been dying to get to – having his stuntmen buddies round to shoot some pool, calling up some girls to come over and party. Relaxing his rigid diet and exercise schedule, just enough to make him feel like a man, not a performing animal on a treadmill. Hanging out with Hengist and Horsa, throwing Frisbees for them on the lawn, taking them for runs; their company was the best tonic he knew. Just now, one of them was snoring lightly, which normally would have made him chuckle with amusement.
    ‘God damn it ,’ Joe said with such deep feeling that both dogs woke, looking up to see what was wrong with their beloved human. Hengist clambered to his feet and lumbered over to Joe, shoving his damp nose into Joe’s hand for comfort.
    ‘If those slobbery things come anywhere near me, so help me God . . .’ Jennifer muttered to Carmen.
    ‘I can’t take the dogs with me, can I?’ Joe asked Carmen, the hopelessness in his voice indicating that he knew the answer perfectly well already.
    ‘To rehab?’ Carmen’s perfectly threaded black eyebrows shot up. ‘Don’t you think that might just tell people you’re not taking this whole thing seriously?’
    ‘Ah,