Bad Romeo by Leisa Rayven Read Free Book Online Page A

exactly I’m saying “no” to.
    By now, I can feel a blush crawling down onto my neck. I almost want to laugh about his assumption that I could be “dating” anyone, let alone someone as charming and good looking as Connor.
    I’d kissed a few boys at various high school parties, but that was it as far as my experience went. Their sloppy mouths and probing tongues never gave me the urge to take it any further. If sex were baseball, I was still on the bench. The only action my bases had seen was courtesy of my own curious hands, and even then, I’d never achieved a homerun.
    Of course, Holt doesn’t know that.
    I open my mouth to tell him I’m riding Connor like a rodeo bronco, but the look in his eyes stops me. Amid all his hard edges and stony stares, there’s something fragile about him, and I can’t do it.
    I look at my feet and sigh. “No, I’m not dating him.”
    Holt’s frown lessens. “Good. Just stay away from him. I don’t like the way he looks at you.”
    Flashes of my father saying the exact same thing about every boy who bothered to look sideways at me jolt through my brain, and suddenly, my newfound freedom doesn’t seem so free anymore.
    “Maybe I like the way he looks at me,” I say, and jut my chin. “And if I ever decide to date him, I sure as hell won’t need your permission. You’re not my big brother, you’re not my father, and you’ve already made it very clear you’re not my friend, so excuse me if I don’t run my dating choices past you. Connor is a nice guy. I could do worse than date him.”
    Anger flashes in his expression, but he composes his face quickly. “Fine. Date the whole school for all I care.”
    “Maybe I will.”
    Before he can say anything else, Erika yells for us to move to the next person, and he’s gone.
    I’m left standing there wanting to rant at him some more, but Phoebe’s in front of me, and the only thing she wants to talk about is Holt. How handsome he is. How tall he is. How intense he is. How much she wants to “date” him.
    I hate her immediately.
    After class, everyone stands around chatting, and even though Holt is across the room, I can feel him watching me.
    I don’t think I ever truly knew the meaning of the word “antagonize” before I met him, but I sure as heck know it now. I’ve never had someone rub me the wrong way so intensely before. If I’m being completely honest, I kind of like the spark.
    I glance over at him to make sure he’s looking before grabbing Connor’s arm and doing my best flirty-Zoe impersonation as I ask him to walk me to the next class.
    Holt doesn’t speak to me for the rest of the week.

 
    FOUR
    MAKING THE FIRST MOVE
    Present Day
New York City
The Diary of Cassandra Taylor
    Dear Diary,
    The more time I spend with him, the more he invades my dreams. I don’t want to remember, but he pushes through.
    He’s here, under my hands. His lips on my skin. It’s perfect and warm, and I tell myself he won’t run away this time.
    I hold him to me, willing away the fear, willing him to lose himself in me. To stay. And even though he’s already written a tragedy, I want to change his mind.
    Then he’s inside me, and it’s perfection.
    I give him the part of myself I can’t imagine giving to anyone else. He tells me it’s precious. That he doesn’t deserve it.
    Afterward, he holds me like he never wants to let go.
    I believe he’ll stay this way. That it won’t change things.
    Of course, it does.
    He covers himself again, so disguised by layers that I don’t even see him anymore, just the hurt he leaves behind.
    I blame him, but it’s my fault. Stupid, romantic, gullible me.
    I saw what I wanted to see. Felt what I wanted to feel. He just played his part.
    Sometimes he’s behind my eyes, weeping and exposed, and he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
    But it was an act.
    He’s an actor.
    And he’s very, very good.
    Six Years Earlier
Westchester, New York
The Grove
Second week of classes
    I