Before the Storm
one
    wanted to go into a fire with a guy they couldn’t trust. Ben
    had been ready to quit. Ready to leave the island altogether.
    But he finally made it through the controlled burn during a
    training session, and a month or so ago, he told me he was
    ready to go live.
    “You sure?” I’d asked him. “There’s a huge difference
    between a controlled fire and a live burn.”
    “I’m sure,” he’d said. He hadn’t been kidding. He was ahead
    of me tonight, inching on his hands and knees through the
    burning church, when his low-air alarm sounded. We’d both
    started out with full tanks, but nerves made you chew up the
    air faster and he was running on empty.
    “Let’s go!” I’d shouted to him, the words muddy from
    behind my mask. He heard me, though. I knew he did, but he
    didn’t turn around. Instead, he kept moving forward and I
    thought he was losing it. I heard the dull thud of whatever hit
    his helmet. Heard his grunt of pain. Saw the streak of red on
    his cheek.“Ben!” I’d shouted.“Turn around!” But he kept right
    on going.
    I called into my radio.“I’ve got an injured man with low air,”
    I said, but through the murk, I suddenly saw the screen of his
    thermal image camera. There was someone in front of us. He
    was going after one of the kids.
    The girl had crawled into her sleeping bag and somehow
    found an air pocket. Ben grabbed her, and together we dragged
    her from the church. She was unconscious but alive.

    before the storm
    51
    “Your boyfriend’s a stubborn SOB,” I said now to Dawn.
    “But there’s a girl who’s lucky he is.”
    “I know,” Dawn said.
    “I heard some kids didn’t make it,” Ben said. “I should’ve
    stayed. Maybe we could have—”
    “You couldn’t stay, man.” I gripped his shoulder. “Your head
    was split open.”
    Ben pressed his sooty fingers to his eyes. He was gonna
    come unglued any second.
    “It’s okay, buddy,” I said.“You did good tonight.” The hospital
    lights fell on his dark hair and all of a sudden, he reminded me
    of Jamie. That brawny bulk of him that made me feel scrawny
    by comparison. Big man with a soft heart.
    “Do you hear him, Ben?” Dawn turned to Ben, one hand on
    his chest.“You did all you could, sugar.” She looked at me.“Do
    you know how it started?”
    “Arson, most likely.”
    “Who would do something like that?” Dawn asked.
    I shook my head. “Y’all happen to see my nephew inside?”
    I looked past them through the glass doors of the E.R.“Andy?”
    “He’s there.” Dawn touched my arm. “He’s okay.”
    Andy sat cross-legged on a bed in the E.R., looking like a
    skinny little Buddha with a bandaged forearm, and my throat
    closed up. Laurel sat next to the bed, her back to me, black
    hair falling out of a barrette. Maggie was curled up at the end
    of the bed, hugging her knees.
    Andy spotted me as I opened the glass door.
    “Uncle Marcus!” he called.
    I reached the bed in a few strides and leaned past Laurel to

    52
    diane chamberlain
    hug him. His back felt boyish and narrow—a little kid’s back,
    though his muscles were tight from swimming. I inhaled the
    smoke from his hair, unable to speak. Finally, I got a grip on
    myself and stood up.
    “Good to see you, Andy.” My voice felt like sandpaper in my
    throat.
    “I’m a hero,” Andy said, then glanced quickly at Laurel.“Can
    I tell Uncle Marcus that?”
    Laurel chuckled. “Yes,” she said. “Uncle Marcus is family.”
    She looked at me. “I told Andy that he shouldn’t brag.”
    I put an arm around Maggie and hugged her to me.“How’re
    you doin’, Mags?”
    “Okay,” she said. She didn’t look okay. Her face was waxy.
    Beneath her eyes, the skin was purplish and translucent.
    “Don’t worry,” I said, squeezing her shoulders. “He’s okay.”
    “ Who’s okay?” She was definitely out of it.
    “Andy, babe,” I said.
    “Oh, I know.” She leaned forward, rubbed her hand over
    Andy’s knee.
    “How about

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