Being Human by Patricia Lynne Read Free Book Online

covered in dirt, but blood and that was much worse. What had come over me?
    The desire had been like nothing I had ever felt. Nothing like the feeling of need. Need was simple, my energy was low, my body weak from lack of blood. I needed to feed to survive. Desire had nothing to do with survival and everything to do with want. I had wanted to rip into the human, wanted to make him feel fear.
    I dragged the human back to his truck, slinging him inside and raced to escape, seeking something familiar. I ended up at the cabin, kneeling at the water's edge. The water lapped at the shore, soothing and calm as I washed the blood away.
    Never again, I told myself. Never again would I let myself feel desire. Not if it made me an out-of-control monster. What would have happened if another human had come along?
    I shuddered to think of the possibilities; each one soaked in blood.
    Once the disturbing blood was washed away, I headed back to the city and perched outside my brother's window. He moved on his bed, sprawled under the blankets. Guilt churned in me as I watched him sleep.
    “Danny.” My voice was a whisper and he didn't wake. I continued anyways, I wanted to say this now. “I hunted tonight and something happened to me when the human tried to escape. I felt like a monster and it was horrible... and intoxicating. I never want to kill like that again. I only want kill when I need to – for survival.” I turned to leave, but paused and turned back. “Have good dreams.” I added, then disappeared into the night.
     
    ****
     
     
    “Hey… hey? Hey, Tommy!”
    “What?” I snapped my head around.
    My brother half leaned out his window, staring at me. “You okay? You look a little lost.”
    “I'm good.”
    “Talk slower, my poor human ears didn't catch that.”
    “I'm good,” I repeated slower.
    I hadn't said anything to him about hunting. Hadn't even mentioned the little speech I gave while he slept. I didn't want to think about it because if I thought about it, I'd think about the desire and the rush it had been.
    “You're distracted tonight.” His voice cut into my thoughts. “Maybe we should do this another night.”
    “No!” I protested. “I'm fine, I was just thinking of...” Desire “...something.”
    He raised an eyebrow. “What sort of something? Secret vampire something?”
    I couldn't think of anything to say so I snapped my mouth shut and stared until he shifted uncomfortably.
    “You know, all the old stories, the ones about vampires before we knew they existed, said vampires didn't blink,” he said. “I kinda wish it were true because the way you blink... you do it real slow and it's creepy.”
    “You say that a lot.”
    “Yeah, you creep the hell out of me now. My skin crawls looking at you. Even now. You're sitting still as a statue, barely moving. Except when you blink. I swear that's gotta be the only slow thing about you. You hardly ever show any emotions and when you do, it's weird, like you can't get it right. Stop that.”
    I untilted my head. “What do you mean?”
    “Well, when you laugh. The way it sounds, it's not quite right. Like you're trying to exaggerate or something. If I had to describe it, besides creepy, I'd say it's intense. Everything about you is intense,” he explained.
    My mind drifted to the desire again. That had been intense. And terrifying. It horrified me with how it made me act, but at the same time I felt intoxicated. It was like sitting on the roof of a car, only better. Every part of me had reveled in the feeling as I fed and despite my resolve never to feel desire again, I found myself wanting to experience it again and again...
    “What... was that?”
    I tilted my head. “What was what?”
    He looked warily at me. “You have this creepier than usual look on your face and you just licked your lips. Just when I think I can't be any more creeped out, you raise the bar.”
    “What bar?”
    “Wha... nevermind. We need to get going if we're going to do