Being Shirley by Michelle Vernal Read Free Book Online Page A

by the bricks of a falling chimney. She’d all but given up hope when she got up one morning to find him sitting at the back door, looking none the worse for his extended walkabout. Although she had been over the moon to see him, scooping him up and smothering him with kisses, Tony had been nonplussed to see his nemesis staring smugly at him from his vantage point in his fiancée’s arms once more. “Look who’s home!” Annie had exclaimed excitedly. She decided to take his return as a sign that maybe things would be okay after all. “Say hello to Daddy, Jazz.”
    Jasper had hissed.
    “Oh, don’t be a nasty boy.” She’d known full well the pair’s relationship would always be strained, thanks to their dodgy start. Shortly after she had moved in with Tony, Jasper had made his feelings at having to share his mistress’s affection very clear by piddling in Tony’s work boots.
    She smiled at the memory of the expression on Tony’s face as he had stuffed his foot inside the sodden boot. Annie got to her feet and tucked Jazz under her arm. “Come on, you. It’s time to go out.”
    Tony drew the line at sharing a bed with Jasper.
    As she opened the front door a crack, she saw the night was misty with the onset of cooler weather. Jasper mewled his protest at leaving the warmth of the house behind. But then something caught his eye and he jumped out of her arms and ran out the door with a speed belying his years and disappeared into the inkiness. She hoped she wouldn’t be presented with a dead mouse or worse, a rat, on the doorstep in the morning. She shuddered at the thought as she turned and padded up the hall to the bathroom.
    Annie picked her wide toothed comb up from where it nestled next to Tony’s razor in the vanity drawer and tugged it through her hair. She sighed. Her hair frizzed out around her face, like Little Orphan Annie, her namesake, but if she didn’t stick to her nightly ritual, she’d wake up to a headful of ginger dreads in the morning.
    When she was satisfied there were no knots left, she moved on to Step Two. She pulled a facial wipe from the near empty packet and took off her make-up. As she peered into the mirror, her newly naked green eyes grew wide as she spied something she didn’t like the look of. She leaned in even closer to the mirror and frowned. What on earth was that angry red monstrosity on her chin? Homing in on it, Annie gave it a squeeze for good measure. Ouch! Yes, it was definitely a spot. Surely at thirty-one years of age, she should be past getting corkers like that? Apparently not, if that monster glaring back at her was anything to go by. Nope, there was nothing else for it: she’d have to nuke the bugger. She smeared toothpaste over the raised lump. She was sure she had read somewhere that toothpaste dried pimples out. It must be all that menthol, she decided, as she cursed Attila. It was all her bloody fault: stress played havoc with your skin, everybody knew that. With one last sigh, she brushed her teeth.
    She smelled like a tube of Colgate as she tiptoed out of the bathroom and pushed open the darkened bedroom door. Tony was asleep, so thankfully she wouldn’t have to launch into an explanation as to why she smelled so minty fresh. She slid in next to him and warmed herself against his slumbering bulk for a moment before she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.
    Tomorrow was going to be manic at work. There was the much anticipated signing-off of an account Manning Stockyard had been wooing for months and her boss, Attila, did not work well under pressure, which in turn meant she was going to need all the sleep she could get. Annie cleared her mind of all thoughts of work and drifted into one of those vivid half sleeping, half waking dreams where she told Attila she had a face on her that could curdle milk. When a loud oink of a snore erupted from Tony, she jolted back into wakefulness. Her leg twitched under the covers as she contemplated kicking him