Belle Moral: A Natural History by Ann-marie MacDonald Read Free Book Online Page B

Invertebrates: A Comparative Anatomy of Stomachs and Guts”.
    P EARL . Why thank you, Mr Abbott.
    A BBOTT . Incidentally, have you read Mr Edgar Allen Poe’s, “The Conchologist’s First Book: –”?
    P EARL . “A System of Testaceous Malacology”, I couldn’t put it down.
    A BBOTT . Nor could I.
    P EARL . Mr Abbott, I had no idea you were a fossil enthusiast.
    A BBOTT
[blushing]
. Indeed, I’ve conceived a passion for … paleontology.
    D R R EID. Where’s Victor?
    F LORA . I let him sleep late. The laddie’s still on the delicate side.
    V ICTOR
[singing lustily from off]
. “Oh you tak the high road and I’ll tak the low road and I’ll be in Hades afore ye!”
    V ICTOR
enters, bare-chested, kilted, wearing a tartan sash as a turban, the bridge of his nose bandaged where
Y OUNG F ARLEIGH
punched him
.
    P EARL . Victor, you’re drunk.
    V ICTOR . Oddly, no. I am about to become the Sultan of Belle Moral. Today I inherit Daddy’s noble pile, so let a thousand and one Scottish nights begin. Every true Scot knows the bagpipes originated in Arabia.
    F LORA . They never did.
    V ICTOR . Abbott,
[clapping his hands twice]
on with the show. Reveal the will of our father.
    D R R EID
clears his throat
. A BBOTT
ignores him, pulls a document from his briefcase, adjusts his pince nez, and reads:
    A BBOTT . “Whereas I, Ramsay MacIsaac –”
    V ICTOR . Don’t worry, Pearl, I’ll no turn you oot o’ hoos and haim.
    A BBOTT . “– being of sound mind –”
    V ICTOR . I intend to throw wide the doors and let the twentieth century blow hard through the halls.
    P EARL . Hush, Victor.
    A BBOTT . “– do hereby designate the disposal of my worldly goods –”
    V ICTOR . I shall put an ad in The Times: “All Welcome”.
    A BBOTT . “– my will to be executed by Mr Edward Abbott, senior solicitor of Abbott, Abbott, Brodie and Bloom, except that, in the event that he predecease me, my will to be executed by his son, Mr Lorenzo Abbott.”
    V ICTOR
and
P EARL
exchange a look, stifle a giggle, “Lorenzo”?
    “I was born heir to solid Protestant traditions, the transmission of which from father to son ensured my portion in this world and the next. But in a moment of weakness I cast my seed upon stony ground. I broke thepure chain of descent and sullied the MacIsaac bloodline in an unholy alliance with the papist, Régine MacPhail. For my wayward desire have I atoned enough in life –”
    V ICTOR . God bless wayward desire!
    A BBOTT . “– but that atonement must extend beyond the grave. My one break with holy tradition can be set right by one more such break: to this end do I disinherit my son, Victor MacIsaac. Upon my daughter Pearl whose parts recommend her as a true MacIsaac, do I bestow Belle Moral and all its goods and chattels. With one condition: that the sins of the mother not be visited upon the daughter, it is my will that she remain childless. In the event that she bear progeny, my estate to revert to the Presbyterian Kirk.”
    Shock
. V ICTOR
exits through the window. A beat, then
F LORA
follows
.
    Miss MacIsaac … good day.
[aside to
D R R EID] As you can see, Doctor, you underestimated Ramsay MacIsaac. He was every bit as humane as you.
    A BBOTT
exits
.
    D R R EID. Pearl –
    P EARL
[crisp, as though nothing had happened]
. Doctor Reid, I’ve had an insight into the ear–
    D R R EID . It’s a tragedy you’ll never be a mother. ’Tis every woman’s dearest wish –
    P EARL . It has never been mine. You insist the ear is a mere curiosity, but –
    D R R EID . Pearl –
    P EARL
[acid]
. Well what would you have me do, Doctor? Weep and moan ‘cause I’ll never be saddled with a welter of brats mewling for “Mummy”? I only wish Father, in his munificence, hadn’t entirely disinherited Victor; it’ll feed the boy’s romantic martyrdom and give him an excuse to drink himself to death at my expense. I suppose that’s why Father cut me off at the ovaries: to prevent me spawning a