Belle Moral: A Natural History by Ann-marie MacDonald Read Free Book Online

ne’er to’ve brought the poor creature haim–
    D R R EID . Nay, Flora, you did the right thing. The humane thing.
    F LORA . I ought to’ve turned to you sooner, Seamus, I know it, but I beg of you now, dinna desert us in our hour of need.
    D R R EID . I’ll never desert this family, Flora.
Scene 7 Pearl’s Study
    Night
. P EARL
is at her desk with the jar and a pile of open books
. P UPPY’S
nose jostles her elbow from behind the desk
.
    P EARL . Lie down. Down.
    P UPPY
jostles her once more
.
    [matter-of-fact]
I’ll have to get Young Farleigh to drown you, I suppose.
    P UPPY’S
tail wags from behind the desk. She pats him on the head
.
    There.
[business-like]
Now bugger off.
    A knock at the door
.
    What?!
    The door opens
, F LORA
puts her head in
.
    F LORA . Do go to bed, pet.
    P EARL . I can’t, Auntie, I’m working.
    F LORA
[sees the dog]
. There it is, oh thank goodness. Here, come now, come. Come.
    P EARL . He won’t come, he’s stupid as a post.
    F LORA . Well he canna stay, not with Victor’s phobia.
    P EARL . I’ll not allow him near Victor, Auntie. F LORA . You’re no thinkin’ to keep him?
    P EARL . Certainly not.
[Concealing her eagerness.]
Just overnight.
    F LORA . I dare say Dr Reid would disapprove.
    P EARL . What were you two whispering about so passionately this morning?
    F LORA
doesn’t answer
.
    Nevermind, Auntie, I know and I don’t mind a bit.
    F LORA . You don’t? You do? What don’t you know?
    P EARL
[teasing, affectionate]
. He’s courting you. Holding hands, and who knows what joukerie-pawkerie –
    F LORA . Pearl –
    P EARL . And you needn’t be jealous of the ear. It was a purely platonic gift.
    P UPPY
sniffs the jar
, P EARL
taps his nose
.
    F LORA . Ach, Dr Reid never – he was merely – he was comehitherating with me over some woman’s trouble.
    P EARL . What woman?
    F LORA . Why, me.
    P EARL . Auntie, you’ve no taken ill. You have.
[stricken]
Oh, Auntie –
    F LORA . Now, pet I’ve no’ took ill, it’s just … the change.
    P EARL . Oh.
    F LORA . Ay.
[Mopping her brow.]
No need to worry your head, that’s a long way off for you.
    P EARL . Any of your shortbread about, Auntie?
    F LORA . Victor ate it up.
    P EARL . Damn him.
    P UPPY
knocks over the jar with his paw
.
    Off, I said. [On
second thought:]
Here.
[Holding the jar out to him.]
What do you make of that?
    F LORA . Pearl!
[covering]
It’s bedtime. You don’t want to be baggy-eyed and forfochen when Mr Abbott arrives first thing in the morning.
    P EARL . What on earth does it matter? Although you’d do well to get your beauty rest, Auntie, if Doctor Reid is to join us.
    F LORA . Hush your haiverin’, noo.
[embarassed, pleased]
Pearl. You dinna truly reckon Dr Reid … harbours a speecial regard for your auld auntie?
    P EARL . In my scientific opinion, it could not be more obvious.
    F LORA . Go on with you.
    P EARL . Goodnight, Auntie.
    F LORA . Goodnight, pet.
[Exit.]
    P EARL . Puppy, did you know that the name of Dr Darwin’s ship was The Beagle? Darwin sought to penetrate that “mystery of mysteries”, the appearance of new species. He proved that all life transforms by slow degrees into all other life. You came from the wolf. I came from the ape. But if the dinosaurs hadn’t mysteriously vanished, we mammals might have remained a race of rodents. And in the absence of man, might the dinosaurs have developed higher consciousness? Perhaps certain traits are like secrets that will out, ideas that are bound to surface. If Darwin hadn’t gone to the Galapagos, he’d have been a scientific footnote; if Shakespeare hadn’t been caught poaching, he’d have been a wool merchant. But I’ll wager there’d still be a father of evolution – or even a mother –and someone whom we call the Bard. Behave, now, or it’s into the cellar with you. Lots of people thought of evolution before Darwin took all the seemingly unrelated bits and put them together in just the right way, at just the right