Beside the Sea by Veronique Olmi Read Free Book Online

very loud, way more posh than that café but it was pathetic, almost begging. But coins are still money, aren’t they? They could make the forty-two francs, no problem, they could even have managed a tip, we were good customers, four drinks in one round, that’s not to be sniffed at!
    The owner looked disgusted, he looked at the scattered money like he’d never seen anything so dirty, but what could he do to us? He wanted us to pay and we were paying, only those men were watching him, and he felt it was all up to him. So he hoiked up his belt with both hands and then with this outraged expression he said, Come on, come on clear all this away! and waved his hand aroundover the table. The men clicked their tongues, it was like a group of good honest people facing a pack of hooligans, and the hooligans were us.
    The owner went back to his bar, stooped and heavy-footed, the game was over. The men were sorely disappointed, you could tell, looking pretty stupid now it was all over, now there was nothing else they could wring out of us and, nodding their heads like a bunch of disgruntled little old women, they followed the owner back to the bar, going home to their kennels. One of them asked Isn’t there school today? again and the others started sniggering, why did they hate us so much, I didn’t get it.
    Stan gathered up the coins and we put our jackets on, they were soaking and when I put mine on my whole body started shivering, I tensed myself to fight off the cold and wet, I hurt all over. Kevin took his brother’s hand again, like on the beach, like he was the one who had to bring him safely back each time, his big brother had taught him that: taking care of someone.
    We left without saying goodbye, but the men had lost interest in us anyway, the owner had bellowed It’s my round! and they were all holding their glasses up to a bottle of white wine, a gift from the gods, as far as they were concerned.

4
    It was still raining outside, the same icy monotonous rain, this town had no imagination, it could only do rain. Stan said he knew the way back to the hotel, I think he was lying because we went past the post office three times, but I didn’t say anything because I was too tired, more wrung out than after a sleepless night and, by going round in circles, we eventually found our hotel, our brown hotel.
    It felt welcoming to me, it did, a bolthole, a burrow in this strange place, but on the way up the stairs Kevin said he wanted the seashell to give to Marie-Hélène, as if we could dig one up now from the lino, as if we could go back to that angry beach. He said he wanted it, he cried for it like he would have cried for Marie-Hélène, and Stan let go of his hand sharply. The littl’un was surprised and he gave him a kick on the shin before running off crying. Be quiet! Just shut up! I said, do you want to draw attention to us? Why was I so frightened? Apartfrom the person in the bathroom, you couldn’t tell there was anyone in the hotel and, anyway, I didn’t give a stuff about invisible neighbours, what frightened me wasn’t someone hearing my two kids laying into each other, no, what frightened me was this violence they’d kept in check and couldn’t hold back any more. They settled it by pulling faces at each other, I could tell they really wanted to fight, to yell at each other, incredible how you can go from love to hate, there’s never any warning, there’s like an irritation, a fury that builds up and you don’t really know who or what it’s aimed at, sometimes I wish I could scream, to find who it is I’ve got it in for, but there are no limits and everything’s against me.
    I was shattered, I hurt all over and I wanted to go to bed, I’d seen too much already. I was shattered but I was actually happy we had to climb all that way, right to the sixth floor, we were getting away from the mud, the sea, the cafés, the roads without pavements. I could have climbed even higher and even faster.
    When we