Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase: Hilarious Stories of Air Travel by the World's Favorite Flight Attendant by Betty N. Thesky, Janet Spencer, Nanette Weston Read Free Book Online Page B
out laughing when she said, ‘What the heck—I’d like to try some of your pissed-off cookies!’”
A flight attendant:
“I was on a long flight to Hawaii and we were serving steak and potatoes for dinner. One passenger called me over and got very indignant over the state of his baked potato. ‘What’s wrong with it?’ I said. ‘Well, just look at it! It’s a bad potato! Can’t you see how bad this potato is? I want a good potato!’ So I picked the potato up, gave it a couple hard slaps while scolding, ‘ Bad potato! Bad potato!’ and then I handed it back to him. ‘If this potato gives you any more trouble, you just let me know!’”
A passenger:
“I was on a flight coming back to the U.S. from Europe. Shortly into the flight there was an announcement that there would be two options for the in-flight meal: a beef dish or a chicken dish. I was listening to my iPod as I saw the flight attendant come down the aisle asking each passenger which dish they wanted. When he got to me and I saw him ask me (although I couldn’t hear him with the iPod on), I replied, ‘Chicken!’ I saw him look somewhat confused, and I saw his lips repeat the question, so I replied again, louder, ‘Chicken!’ I now noticed he was trying very hard to keep from bursting out laughing, so I finally took the headphones off to actually listen to his question. It turned out he was not taking meal orders as I had assumed, but was passing out customs forms. He was not saying ‘Beef or chicken?’ to each passenger, but instead asking, ‘American citizen?’ Of course, the worst part was that he was French. Now with a smirk and a smooth Parisian accent he said, ‘For ze last time, sir, are you an American citizen, or a chicken?’”
A flight attendant:
“I was working a flight from New York to Frankfurt which happened to have Mother Teresa and her entourage aboard. They had bought coach class tickets, but the airline upgraded them to first class at no extra charge, and I was working first class that day. Well, first class on an overseas flight got a full seven-course meal, so I wheeled out the hors d’oeuvres cart, but she didn’t want any of that; then I brought out the salad cart, and she had a salad; then I bought out the entrée cart, followed by the cheese and the fruit and so on. Her eyes got really big and she turned to me and said, ‘I cannot eat all of this! Young man, what do you do with all the uneaten food from this flight?’ and I had to tell her that company regulations dictated that we had to throw it all away. I felt really bad about having to tell her that and I felt like maybe I should get a really big box and collect all the leftover chicken and steak for her. Instead, we ended up taking up a collection among the other passengers on the plane. We raised about $500 for her, and gave that to her instead of a ‘to-go’ box full of leftovers.”
Random Factoids
• Los Angeles International Airport dumps about 8,000 tons of wasted food annually.
• Airlines and airports recycle only about 20% of their waste.
A flight attendant:
“One of my co-workers was working first class when Chet Atkins was aboard. She had just finished serving him his meal when he called her over saying, ‘Excuse me miss, I know this sounds like a terrible cliché, but there’s a fly in my soup.’ She looked, and sure enough, there was a fly in his soup. So she turned to him and said, ‘No pets are allowed on this flight!’”
A Tip From Betty
When we finish serving the passengers and are collecting the trash, it’s easy to get the trash from the people in the aisle seats and even from the people in the middle. But collecting the trash from the people in the window seats is much harder because I have to bend over and reach out to get it. This means bending over hundreds of times in a row, especially since I often have three flights on any given day with several hundred passengers each. So it means a
A flight attendant:
“I was on a long flight to Hawaii and we were serving steak and potatoes for dinner. One passenger called me over and got very indignant over the state of his baked potato. ‘What’s wrong with it?’ I said. ‘Well, just look at it! It’s a bad potato! Can’t you see how bad this potato is? I want a good potato!’ So I picked the potato up, gave it a couple hard slaps while scolding, ‘ Bad potato! Bad potato!’ and then I handed it back to him. ‘If this potato gives you any more trouble, you just let me know!’”
A passenger:
“I was on a flight coming back to the U.S. from Europe. Shortly into the flight there was an announcement that there would be two options for the in-flight meal: a beef dish or a chicken dish. I was listening to my iPod as I saw the flight attendant come down the aisle asking each passenger which dish they wanted. When he got to me and I saw him ask me (although I couldn’t hear him with the iPod on), I replied, ‘Chicken!’ I saw him look somewhat confused, and I saw his lips repeat the question, so I replied again, louder, ‘Chicken!’ I now noticed he was trying very hard to keep from bursting out laughing, so I finally took the headphones off to actually listen to his question. It turned out he was not taking meal orders as I had assumed, but was passing out customs forms. He was not saying ‘Beef or chicken?’ to each passenger, but instead asking, ‘American citizen?’ Of course, the worst part was that he was French. Now with a smirk and a smooth Parisian accent he said, ‘For ze last time, sir, are you an American citizen, or a chicken?’”
A flight attendant:
“I was working a flight from New York to Frankfurt which happened to have Mother Teresa and her entourage aboard. They had bought coach class tickets, but the airline upgraded them to first class at no extra charge, and I was working first class that day. Well, first class on an overseas flight got a full seven-course meal, so I wheeled out the hors d’oeuvres cart, but she didn’t want any of that; then I brought out the salad cart, and she had a salad; then I bought out the entrée cart, followed by the cheese and the fruit and so on. Her eyes got really big and she turned to me and said, ‘I cannot eat all of this! Young man, what do you do with all the uneaten food from this flight?’ and I had to tell her that company regulations dictated that we had to throw it all away. I felt really bad about having to tell her that and I felt like maybe I should get a really big box and collect all the leftover chicken and steak for her. Instead, we ended up taking up a collection among the other passengers on the plane. We raised about $500 for her, and gave that to her instead of a ‘to-go’ box full of leftovers.”
Random Factoids
• Los Angeles International Airport dumps about 8,000 tons of wasted food annually.
• Airlines and airports recycle only about 20% of their waste.
A flight attendant:
“One of my co-workers was working first class when Chet Atkins was aboard. She had just finished serving him his meal when he called her over saying, ‘Excuse me miss, I know this sounds like a terrible cliché, but there’s a fly in my soup.’ She looked, and sure enough, there was a fly in his soup. So she turned to him and said, ‘No pets are allowed on this flight!’”
A Tip From Betty
When we finish serving the passengers and are collecting the trash, it’s easy to get the trash from the people in the aisle seats and even from the people in the middle. But collecting the trash from the people in the window seats is much harder because I have to bend over and reach out to get it. This means bending over hundreds of times in a row, especially since I often have three flights on any given day with several hundred passengers each. So it means a
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