Between Before and After by Amanda Dick Read Free Book Online Page B

ago. It seemed important, a way of keeping his memory alive.
    “Watch your step,” he warned, heading down the few wooden steps built into the side of the jetty, leading into the water.
    The steps were slippery at the best of times, and she took them slowly, following him. He reached for the bowl and she handed it to him as he began to collect the mussels that had attached themselves to the pylons, dropping them into the bowl. It wasn’t a two-person job, so she sat down on the step, smoothing her skirt down over her thighs. She searched for something safe to talk about.
    “So, how’s Kelly?” she ventured, keeping her tone casual.
    He stopped what he was doing and sat back on his heels. “We broke up.”
    “What? When?”
    ”About a month ago? Something like that.”
    Today was February fifteenth. Six weeks after what happened between them at New Years. Was he trying to tell her something?
    “I’m so sorry – I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”
    “Didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
    She got the feeling he might have been waiting for the right moment to tell her. Did the others know? If they did, they hadn’t mentioned it. Had he asked them not to? Was she reading too much into this? Her head spun.
    “It was a mutual thing,” he continued. “It just wasn’t working. She wanted the whole deal – big wedding, couple of kids, white picket fence.”
    “And you didn’t?”
    He stared at the mussels he had piled in the bowl at his feet. “That’s the thing,” he said, “I did want all that – I mean, I do want all that. Just not with her.”
    The pregnant silence between them was almost as deafening as the cicadas.
    “I’m sorry,” she said again. And she meant it. They weren’t exactly close, but she liked Kelly. If she had met her at a different time, when she wasn’t grieving, then maybe they would have hit it off better. As it was, by the time she and Finn had begun dating, she didn’t have the energy to nurture new relationships. She had had enough trouble retaining the ones she already had.
    He sighed, rubbing his hand over his short brown hair, as if trying to physically massage the problem away.
    “Hey, its fine – like I said, it was mutual,” he smiled up at her. “We’re still friends – sort of.”
    “Well, that’s something.”
    He nodded, his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer. When he turned his attention back to the mussels, she was grateful. Another few moments and things may have become awkward. As it was, she tried to give the outer impression that everything was fine. On the inside however, it was a very different story.

Chapter Six
    Three years earlier
    Max hated leaving her alone. She looked so forlorn, so fragile – as if he would come home from the supermarket to find she had withered away to nothing, disappearing into the atmosphere without a trace. He glanced at his watch. He had been gone half an hour already. He should get back.
    Making his way through the checkout and out to the car with the essentials in a plastic bag, he hoped he had gotten everything they needed. He had no idea what would happen when he had run out of annual leave days and had to go back to work. Leaving Kate alone for an entire day gave him chills. He started formulating a back-up plan. Maybe he could take a leave of absence for a month or so? Or maybe he could work something else out?
    The traffic seemed to crawl on his way back to the villa, and he tapped his fingers impatiently against the steering wheel. Pulling up outside the house, he grabbed the bag of groceries and headed inside. Every time he went through that front door, he wanted to vomit. The memories were brutal.
    He pushed the door closed with his foot and stopped. He was greeted with silence. Taking the bag of groceries into the kitchen, he unloaded the milk into the fridge. He purposely avoided looking at that corner of the living room. The carpet had been ripped up and the wallpaper had been