Between Black and Sunshine by Haven Francis Read Free Book Online

shaking her head at me. “I’ll be at your dorm when you get there,” he finally says.
    “Okay, see you then.”
    “Yep,” he says, hanging up the phone.
    “Shit,” I mutter, throwing the phone into my purse.
    “When you came up with this plan, I was all for it,” Callie says, her eyes darting between the road and my face. “I thought it would be fun; a project for the two of us, something that we could do together during our last summer. I knew Luca would love you no matter what. I thought you knew that too. I didn’t realize how far you were taking this shit. Since when do you lie to him? Since when don’t you let him help you when you need it? That boy has been by your side through every damn thing. He knows who you are, he knows who that fuck head Arnie is. Why are you trying to pretend for him? How am I supposed to leave you there when the only person you have to love you is someone you won’t be honest with?”
    “You don’t get it,” I tell her. “I don’t want him to protect me. Don’t you get how he sees me? He thinks of me as some depressed, confused girl who is constantly on the brink of disaster. He’s had no choice but to look at me otherwise. If he sees me damaged and broken, then all this work that I’ve gone through to be the sunny, put-together girl he wants me to be will be for nothing. I need him to see that I’m fine. That he can’t hurt me. That I’m good for him. I can’t show up there all broken and wounded.”
    “This is so messed up,” she mutters, shaking her head.
    I turn my eyes from her and back to my list. I practice my smile. I brush my hair. I check my makeup and re-apply my lip gloss. I take some more aspirin and push away the pain. I try to ignore Callie’s tense face. I try to pretend like that last night in my house never happened.
    As we pull into campus my butterflies are back, pushing into my stomach like they’re trying to escape. We listen to the monotone voice of Callie’s GPS guide us. When the voice announces that our destination is one hundred feet ahead on the right I feel like I’m going to puke.
    Callie finds a spot in the back corner of the crowded lot. She pops her trunk and pulls out my single suitcase. I reach over to grab it from her and she yanks it away from me. “You can’t carry this,” she tells me.
    “Callie, I have to. Luca might be there waiting for me. He’ll know something’s wrong if he sees you carrying it.”
    “This is so fricking stupid,” she says for what feels like the hundredth time. She slams her trunk shut and sets my suitcase on the ground, pushing the release button for the handle and pulling it out so I can roll it.
    I run my hands over my dress before taking the handle. “Do I look okay?” I ask her.
    “Yes, you look completely gorgeous and happy,” she tells me before putting her hands on mine. “I’m begging you, Jude, let him help you. Just tell him the truth. It’s not going to make him love you less.”
    I look into her pleading eyes and I almost cave. I need his help right now; I want it. But I’ve worked too hard to let Arnie destroy my efforts. “I can’t,” I say, grabbing a hold of the suitcase and making my way towards the brick building in the distance.
    I focus on the clicking of my sandals, the crunching sound the wheels of my suitcase are making on the asphalt. I listen as the sound of the wheels becomes muffled by the concrete sidewalk. As Callie and I turn the corner I see him.
    I stop in my tracks at the sight. Everything in my body bubbles up with happiness. Oh god, it’s been so long since I’ve seen him. Everything inside of me is telling me to run to him and bury myself in him but somehow I manage to take a few breaths and compose myself.
    He’s sitting on the steps of my dorm. His attention is on the phone in his hands. His fingers are unmoving, he’s just staring. I wonder if it’s the picture of me.
    My heart starts racing again as I take in his long, strong body and his