Between Here and Forever by Elizabeth Scott Read Free Book Online

should. I … I want her to wake up so I don’t have to be tied to her forever.
    I want her to wake up so I won’t forever be reminded that I’m not her.
    That I’ll never be her.

thirteen
    “Hello, sunshine,” Clement says when I come into the hospital the next day, frowning because my bag got wet on the ferry and the lone bathroom on it was out of paper towels.
    I curve my mouth into a huge, fake smile, and he laughs and pulls out a cough drop.
    “Found someone to work in the gift shop starting today,” he says. “Have something you’d like to say to me?”
    I grin at him. “I hear that eating too many of those things you like so much gives you gas.”
    He laughs. “My wife would have loved you. Do you like Jaffa Cakes? Harriet loved them. Used to be hard to find them over here, but now the supermarkets have international aisles and you can get anything.”
    “I love them,” I say, and wonder what the hell Jaffa Cakes are.
    He grins at me. “Now what are you going to do when I bring you a box of them?”
    “Tell my parents my new boyfriend is a little older than I am.”
    Clement laughs so hard he chokes on his cough drop, causing the reception area people to come running with water and offers of help. Sometimes I think he gave more money to the hospital than even rumor says, because normally the people at reception don’t and won’t move unless someone’s bleeding all over the place. Or if it’s time for their breaks.
    “Go on,” he says, waving me off through a sea of faces watching him. “Tell Eli I said hello.”
    I go up to Tess’s unit, and see Eli sitting in the small waiting room outside. He’s easy to spot because a couple of nurse’s aides are busy organizing carts by the door and gawking at him.
    I ask them if they’ve seen Claire, and they both shrug and go back to gawking. I squeeze past them and into the room where Eli sits, tapping the fingers of one hand against a chair as he stares at the television bolted to the wall.
    “Hey,” I say, and tell myself the kick-in-the-gut drop I get when he looks at me is just an involuntary reaction. Like stomach cramps after eating bad food.
    I don’t really believe it.
    “Hey,” he says, voice as low and steady and sweet as I remember, and the aides out in the hall are gawking so hard I can feel their gazes boring into me.
    I can feel them wondering how and why someone like him is talking to someone like me.
    “You ready to go?” I say, and they’ll stop wondering as soon as Tess wakes up and they see him with her.
    “Did you see Clement?”
    “Yeah. He says to say hi.”
    Eli gets up then, unfolding from the chair like a work of art come to life, all grace and skin the color of caramels my mother used to buy, individually wrapped golden candies that she’d melt down and pour onto ice cream.
    Tess would eat spoonfuls of the stuff.
    “I—you—are you okay?” he says, looking a little hesitant, and I nod, say, “Yeah. Let’s go see Tess, you’ll love her, trust me,” willing my voice not to crack, willing myself to sound normal, like I’m not hoping so hard my heart hurts.
    Like I’m not noticing him.
    We head out into the hall and I punch in the door code that lets the nurses know someone’s waiting to be buzzed in.
    “I wanted to say—I wanted to ask about your bag,” Eli says. “It looks a little wet. I can get you a towel or something if you need to dry it off.”
    I shake my head, say no without words, because I can’t talk just now.
    I don’t know what to think about the fact that he even noticed my bag was wet. No one … it’s been a long time since someone looked at me and saw me.
    I wish—
    Luckily, before I can finish that dangerous thought, a nurse buzzes us in, and we walk to Tess’s room.
    Once I’ve done that and settled into my usual seat, I feel better. Less thrown by his comment. By him noticing me, even if it was only my bag.
    I look at Tess and touch her shoulder, wait for her chest to rise and