Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough by Justin Davis, Trisha Davis Read Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Justin Davis, Trisha Davis
as much as you try to modify your behavior, God wants to change your heart. This prayer is where lasting change starts.
Will you pray this prayer? That is the question you will have to ask yourself before moving forward. Will you stop settling for ordinary and trust God for extraordinary? That is the journey Trisha and I want to go on with you. The great news for each of us is that God doesn’t promise improved ; God promises new .
QUESTIONS
Describe the vision you had for your marriage when you got married. How close are you to that vision today?
What are your expectations for this book? What do you hope changes for your marriage after reading this book?
What comes to mind when you hear the word oneness?
Are you more likely to pray, “God, change my spouse,” or “God, change me”? Why?
2.
NO ORDINARY BATTLE
Our mission to change the world began at a small church in Sandusky, Ohio. Not even a year of marriage had passed, and we were already expecting our first baby and beginning our first ministry. Barely in our twenties, we found ourselves serving a church in which most folks were somewhere between forty and ninety. It wasn’t exactly the young, hip ministry we’d envisioned, but it was where we felt God wanted us, and we were eager to embrace it.
Our first youth event was a trip to Cedar Point amusement park. Only one student from our church showed up. Her name was Julie, and fortunately she brought two of her friends. That day marked the beginning of our relationship with three teenage girls who, along with us, embraced a vision that would transform the church. Within six months, the youth group grew to almost the size of our adult congregation. Students’ lives were being changed, and we knew we were making a real difference.
From the outside, it looked like we had it all—from a young Christian perspective, anyway. We were broke, but being poor was just part of the package for fresh-out-of-college youth ministers. We were in love, expecting a healthy baby boy, and our ministry was thriving.
However, there was a darkness looming in the background that neither of us could see, a darkness that would turn us from partners into enemies.
TRISHA:
When we moved to Sandusky, I was only eight weeks from giving birth. Because we were both so young and naive, we decided it would be fine for Justin to leave for a youth trip five days after my expected due date. My mom was coming, and she had taken care of me for the first eighteen years of my life. I was sure she could take care of me for five more days.
As expected, our son Micah was born just five days after our one-year anniversary. Thirteen of our family members, from both sides of the family, came to stay with us in our two-bedroom apartment. Four days after I returned from the hospital, everyone except my mom went home, and Justin left for his trip.
I never expected the emotions I experienced while he was gone. Although I had given Justin permission to leave, anger boiled over in my heart every minute he wasn’t there. As sleep deprivation and postpartum depression set in, Justin discovered a side of me he didn’t know existed. Unknowingly, I allowed this frustrating and isolating experience to lay a foundation for my dysfunctional behavior for years to come.
JUSTIN:
Ordinary isn’t a destination at which you suddenly arrive. Ordinary is subtle. Sometimes ordinary is a product of intentional choices.But often ordinary occurs when a couple doesn’t know what they don’t know. That was the case with Trish and me.
We arrived in Sandusky in May, and I quickly developed a summer calendar for our student ministry. Trisha’s due date was the middle of July, and I wanted to take the few students in our new ministry to a youth conference in order to build relationships and cast a vision for what I wanted our ministry to become.
We came home from Trisha’s first doctor’s appointment in Sandusky, and I got out the calendar. The doctor had told us that if
Will you pray this prayer? That is the question you will have to ask yourself before moving forward. Will you stop settling for ordinary and trust God for extraordinary? That is the journey Trisha and I want to go on with you. The great news for each of us is that God doesn’t promise improved ; God promises new .
QUESTIONS
Describe the vision you had for your marriage when you got married. How close are you to that vision today?
What are your expectations for this book? What do you hope changes for your marriage after reading this book?
What comes to mind when you hear the word oneness?
Are you more likely to pray, “God, change my spouse,” or “God, change me”? Why?
2.
NO ORDINARY BATTLE
Our mission to change the world began at a small church in Sandusky, Ohio. Not even a year of marriage had passed, and we were already expecting our first baby and beginning our first ministry. Barely in our twenties, we found ourselves serving a church in which most folks were somewhere between forty and ninety. It wasn’t exactly the young, hip ministry we’d envisioned, but it was where we felt God wanted us, and we were eager to embrace it.
Our first youth event was a trip to Cedar Point amusement park. Only one student from our church showed up. Her name was Julie, and fortunately she brought two of her friends. That day marked the beginning of our relationship with three teenage girls who, along with us, embraced a vision that would transform the church. Within six months, the youth group grew to almost the size of our adult congregation. Students’ lives were being changed, and we knew we were making a real difference.
From the outside, it looked like we had it all—from a young Christian perspective, anyway. We were broke, but being poor was just part of the package for fresh-out-of-college youth ministers. We were in love, expecting a healthy baby boy, and our ministry was thriving.
However, there was a darkness looming in the background that neither of us could see, a darkness that would turn us from partners into enemies.
TRISHA:
When we moved to Sandusky, I was only eight weeks from giving birth. Because we were both so young and naive, we decided it would be fine for Justin to leave for a youth trip five days after my expected due date. My mom was coming, and she had taken care of me for the first eighteen years of my life. I was sure she could take care of me for five more days.
As expected, our son Micah was born just five days after our one-year anniversary. Thirteen of our family members, from both sides of the family, came to stay with us in our two-bedroom apartment. Four days after I returned from the hospital, everyone except my mom went home, and Justin left for his trip.
I never expected the emotions I experienced while he was gone. Although I had given Justin permission to leave, anger boiled over in my heart every minute he wasn’t there. As sleep deprivation and postpartum depression set in, Justin discovered a side of me he didn’t know existed. Unknowingly, I allowed this frustrating and isolating experience to lay a foundation for my dysfunctional behavior for years to come.
JUSTIN:
Ordinary isn’t a destination at which you suddenly arrive. Ordinary is subtle. Sometimes ordinary is a product of intentional choices.But often ordinary occurs when a couple doesn’t know what they don’t know. That was the case with Trish and me.
We arrived in Sandusky in May, and I quickly developed a summer calendar for our student ministry. Trisha’s due date was the middle of July, and I wanted to take the few students in our new ministry to a youth conference in order to build relationships and cast a vision for what I wanted our ministry to become.
We came home from Trisha’s first doctor’s appointment in Sandusky, and I got out the calendar. The doctor had told us that if
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