Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough by Justin Davis, Trisha Davis Read Free Book Online Page B

Trish didn’t go into labor, he would induce her. Knowing that gave us confidence to plan a youth trip for a week after Micah’s birth. I would be gone five days, but Trisha’s mom would be there, and Trisha assured me that she would be fine.
    One of the things I’ve learned in over seventeen years of marriage is that the word fine is a four-letter word in marriage. When something or someone is fine, they are never really fine. I didn’t know that then, and I took fine to mean, well, fine.
    The week after Micah was born was so stressful. We were brand-new parents and had no idea what we were doing. We had thirteen people staying in our two-bedroom apartment. We were sleep deprived. We were getting advice from every member of our families on what we should do and how we should do it. My family was getting on Trisha’s nerves. Her family was getting on mine. Tension was high, and everyone was walking on eggshells. Five days away couldn’t come at a better time. My family left, Trisha’s family—minus her mom—left, and then the next day, I left with ten students and two adults for a five-day trip to a Christian youth conference. I thought everything was fine.
    After an eight-hour drive to the conference, we arrived and got checked in. I couldn’t wait to call home to find out how Trisha and Micah were doing. I could tell when Trish answered the phone that things weren’t fine. Trish was breast-feeding and had some discomfort the first week, but that day had been exceptionally bad. She was discouraged, Micah was cranky, and I was eight hoursaway. I got the sense that she didn’t miss me; she was just mad at me for being gone.
    “I’m sorry that Micah is having trouble eating,” I said.
    “It’s fine.”
    “Well, remember what we talked about. We don’t have the money to buy formula, so you need to breast-feed as long as you can.”
    “I know! Why are you reminding me of something I already know? Do you think I’m trying to make feeding difficult? Do you think I’m intentionally causing it to hurt? Is that what you think?”
    “No, I don’t think that at all. I was just saying that we don’t have the money for this not to work.”
    Silence.
    “I’ll let you go so you can get back to the students,” she said, icily.
    “The students are fine. I want to talk to you.”
    Silence.
    I could hear sniffling that she tried to contain. I could picture the tears streaming down her cheeks.
    “I just can’t believe you would leave us a week after Micah was born.” She spoke quietly, almost as if she were talking to herself and allowing me to hear.
    “You said it would be fine,” I reminded her. “You said your mom would be there and it was only five days. I didn’t leave you; I just went on a trip with students for my job . I’m sorry that I have a job and am trying to provide for our family.”
    Silence.
    “I guess I’ll let you go,” one of us said.
    “Okay,” replied the other.
    When we hung up the phone that night, a seed was planted in both of our hearts. We weren’t in this together anymore. In Trisha’s mind I was the enemy. I had left her. I had deserted her and our newborn baby. I wanted to be with the students more than I wanted to be with her.
    To me, she wasn’t supporting me as she should. She went backon her word, and what she said would be fine wasn’t fine anymore. She was mad at me for working. She was mad at me for providing. She was mad at me for doing something she told me I could do.
    We had spent our entire dating life serving God together, and now, just a few months into our first full-time ministry and just a year into our marriage, I felt as if I and my ministry were on one side and she was on the other. The field had been set for us to move from teammates to enemies.
    TRISHA:
    When Justin and I got married, we had a vision that we would do life together and would change the world together through our ministry in the local church. But what slowly took place was a shift in