Big Trouble by Dave Barry Read Free Book Online Page B

one eye. He stepped back a few feet and pointed the rifle in the general direction of Henry.
    If there had been more light, and if Henry hadn’t had searing blasts of pain stabbing his neck and right shoulder, he might have noticed that whoever this stocky little man holding his rifle was, he still had the safety on, and he didn’t have his finger inside the trigger guard. If he had been his usual self, Henry might have made a play on this guy—kick his feet out, roll sideways, come up moving, going for the gun he kept in an ankle holster.
    But Henry was not his usual self, and he knew it, and could hear that the sirens were very close now, and as much as he wanted to know what was going on here, he figured his best play was to continue getting the hell out of there. Keeping his eye on Puggy, moving slowly, keeping his hands in view, he got his knees under himself, then his feet, then stood up. Puggy watched him.
    â€œI don’t want any trouble,” Henry said.
    â€œMe neither,” said Puggy. Puggy never wanted trouble.
    â€œI’m gonna get my friend here,” Henry said.
    â€œDon’t touch the girl.” Puggy said.
    Henry thought, Girl? But he said, “No, no, I’m just gonna get my friend, OK?” He moved slowly to the wall and . . . shit, there was a girl. What was going on here? He grabbed Leonard’s shoulder and shook it.
    â€œC’mon,” he said. “Come on , dammit!”
    Leonard sat up a little, his eyes starting to focus. First he saw Henry, right over him; then he saw a girl in a nightgown, on the ground next to him; then he saw a guy with a rifle. His head hurt and there was blood in his eyes and he could hear sirens really loud.
    He said: “What the fuck? ”
    â€œCome on, ” said Henry, yanking Leonard up, feeling a nauseating stab of pain in his shoulder. He looked one more time at the stocky man, who was still pointing the rifle vaguely in his direction. Henry knew this guy was not a pro. Henry was pretty sure he could get the rifle back—he did not want to leave the rifle—but Leonard was very shaky, and the siren had stopped, which meant the cops were here.
    Henry pushed Leonard over to the wall, got his shoulder under Leonard’s ass—another stab of pain—and shoved him over the wall; then he followed. He herded Leonard as quickly as he could to the rental car and shoved him into the backseat. He climbed gingerly in the front and drove out of the neighborhood, watching the rearview, thinking about how he was going to word the phone call.

THREE
    I f you asked the average seventeen-year-old male whether he would enjoy lying on the floor pressed between two attractive women, he would say, Heck yes. But it was not proving to be a sensual experience for Matt. The problem, basically, was that although he knew that he was just a fun-loving high-school student engaged in a harmless game, neither Anna Herk nor Jenny knew this. And so while he didn’t want to do anything to hurt them, they had no qualms whatsoever about beating the shit out of him.
    Behind him, Anna Herk, who worked out regularly at the health club, was clinging to Matt like a psychotic lamprey. She had both legs wrapped tightly around him, pinning his arms to his side; her right arm was around his throat, pretty much cutting off his air supply. She was using her left fist to pound the back of his head, and she was screaming into his left ear, and although she was not by nature an aggressive or hostile person, she was trying desperately to sound like one.
    â€œYOU LET HER GO YOU SON OF A BITCH!” were her exact words.
    Matt would have liked nothing more than to let Jenny go, because Jenny was kneeing his groin and scratching at him with fingernails that felt like X-Acto knives. But Matt could not move, because Mrs. Herk was right on top of him, pressing him down on her writhing, scratching, screaming daughter, slamming his face into the hard tile