Boarlander Bash Bear (Boarlander Bears Book 2) by T. S. Joyce Read Free Book Online

moment. The door was banging under multiple fists now. Tell him! His tongue touched hers again, and she melted completely against him. He deserves to know!
    Guilt flooded her, and Emerson eased back, eyes closed, and rested her forehead on his.
    “What’s wrong?” he asked. “You smell sad. I don’t want you sad.”
    “I have to tell you something big, Bash.”
    “Tell me. Tell me anything.” His voice was tainted with worry now.
    Dipping her voice to a whisper, she said, “I’m going to have a baby.”
    He eased back and cupped her cheeks. “Woman, I don’t know much about much, but I know we ain’t done enough to put a baby in you yet.”
    “No, no, not your baby. I’m going to have someone else’s baby.”
    Bash released her so fast she almost fell forward. He backed up a few steps, and his eyes looked so wary. “You cheating with me? You have a boyfriend? A husband?”
    “No, it’s nothing like that.”
    “But you’re pregnant?”
    “Not yet, but I want to be.”
    “I don’t understand, Emerson. I don’t understand.” Bash scrubbed his hand down his face and looked panicked as he backed himself against the door across the room from her.
    “I’m going to go to the doctor and kind of…get a baby put in me so I can be a mother. It’s what I want more than anything.”
    “But that’s what I want too. I want cubs.” He wasn’t looking at her anymore, but instead his gaze was on her heels, and he was angling his head, exposing his neck.
    “Bash, I like you so much, but this was already something I had in the works before I met you.”
    “But it’s different now, right? I could give you babies if you want them.”
    “Oh, Bash, that is a beautiful offer, but I…” She sighed and looked at the ceiling, searching for inspiration to somehow explain this in a way that wouldn’t hurt him. “I talked to my doctor about a shifter being a donor, but she said we aren’t allowed.”
    “I can’t be a dad?”
    “You can. You can be a dad the natural way when you pick your mate and you’re sure about her.”
    “When I’m sure about her . Emerson, I like you . My chest don’t hurt when I’m with you.”
    Her eyes prickled with tears, and her face crumpled because she didn’t know if she was doing the right thing anymore. “Those men on the computer were sperm donors.”
    He reared back like he’d been slapped by her hand. “I helped you pick a daddy, didn’t I?”
    Her throat closed around the answer, so she nodded instead. “I’m going in at noon on Friday, and hopefully I’ll get pregnant. I’ll finally get a baby of my own. It has nothing to do with my feelings for you.”
    Bash shook his head back and forth, back and forth. His hand rested on his stomach like he felt sick, and with one last look, he opened the door. Before he left, he turned and locked his eyes on hers. “I wish I was smarter so you would pick me.”
    He disappeared through the door, and she doubled over her sob. Ridiculous man, he was so smart, so sweet, so perfect. Their timing had just been bad. If she didn’t do this, she was making the same mistake she had with Brian. She was giving another man power to postpone her bone-deep need to build a family. Sure, Bash thought he wanted a baby, but he was hunting for a mate, and if she wasn’t it, she could be back in this same position, full of regret and childless, in another two years…or even five or ten years.
    At some point she had to go and get her happiness, and for her, having a child was the joy she’d waited so long for.
    So why then did it feel like her happiness had just walked out that door?

Chapter Six
     
    “You look like hell, man,” Harrison said over the noise of his idling chainsaw.
    Bash cocked his eyebrows and looked pointedly at the long healing claw marks down the side of Harrison’s neck. His skin was splotched with purple bruising thanks to Clinton nicking an artery and causing massive damage. “ You look like hell, Boss