Bob Servant by Bob Servant Read Free Book Online Page A

He got to the final of the Scottish Amateur Open and whoever wins that usually flies into the professional game. But around the world there can’t be more than a handful of golfers who have seen their whole career crumble in front of their eyes because of Tony Jacklin farting and Chappy was just unlucky to be one of them. 28
    After the Jacklin incident Chappy became the professional at Broughty Ferry Golf Club and he was there for forty years until his retirement. 29 Well, there and in Stewpot’s by three o’clock every afternoon. We’ve had a few ups and down over the years but all in all I suppose Chappy’s a pal.
    Unlike Chappy Williams, Tommy Peanuts has never really been any trouble at all. He was already with Sally when he started coming into Stewpot’s and the two of them were an OK couple. He didn’t try and act like he was Burt Lancaster just because he’d got a girlfriend like some guys do and back then he’d just started at the insurance company and he was OK about talking about that as well.
    It was in the early 1980s that myself, Frank and Chappy had to have a bit of a chat with Tommy after he’d got a few promotions and made the mistake that people who work in offices sometimes make when they think that you would like to hear what they do when they’re in the offices. You’d ask him how he was getting on and he’d start telling us about things that had happened in his office, and meetings he’d had when he’d had to ‘shake things up’ or that he was ‘having a problem with the Johnston account’ and me, Frank and Chappy looked at each other and thought, ‘Is he having a fucking laugh?’ In the end we sat him down and said we were happy he’d got his promotions and so on but he should only really talk about stuff that happened in his office to other people in his office. And, to be fair to Tommy, he held his hands up and agreed. That’s the only problem we’ve ever had with Tommy but back in the sixties he was great and he and Sally were good fun. For Frank, Chappy and myself, seeing those two together probably helped kick off The Great Skirt Hunt.
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    28 See
The Dundee Courier
, 8 September 1966 – ‘
Chaos Reigns At The Scottish Amateur Open
(The Scottish Amateur Open was thrown into disarray yesterday when the nation’s two leading youth hopes, Dundee’s Chappy Williams and Edinburgh’s Tony Jacklin were locked in a bitter feud. As officials tried to regain control Williams could be heard accusing Jacklin of an unorthodox distraction tactic as Williams attempted a vital putt. “He knew exactly what he was doing,” said Williams (20) last night. “It was a low, controlled noise. Like a trumpet. I hope he’s happy with himself.” Jacklin said the accusation was “ludicrous” and added, “Things happen on a golf course, just like things happen in life.”)’.
    29 See
The Dundee Courier
, 3 December 2006 – ‘
Retiring Broughty Golfing Legend Offers Olive Branch To Jacklin
(“I’d like to thank all the members for forty wonderful years . . . It still hurts, there’s no doubt about that and it’s probably gone on too long. Pick up the phone, Tony.”).

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The Great Skirt Hunt
    The Great Skirt Hunt started in 1965 and lasted a couple of years. Frank and I were doing bits and pieces with work, I was on the milk for a while for Big Sandy and then the two of us did six months out on the berries which was a good job because the sun made me look like Rock Hudson (and Frank look like a bell-end) and we had weekends off to hit the town.
    By 1965 we were getting good at hitting the town and talking to skirt and we looked not too bad at all with the corduroy and so on but we decided we needed a final touch. Women have always liked a man with a gimmick – just look at Rod Hull or Mussolini – and for me and Frank I