Both of Us by Ryan O'Neal Read Free Book Online

when he was married to Jennifer Jones. It’s a formal dinner. There are about sixty of us, and I’m seated next to Rita. There are wine decanters on the table so I offer to pour her a glass. “Ms. Hayworth, which would you prefer, red or white?” She tries to answer, but her speech is so hesitant I’m not sure what she’s saying. Everybody around us thought she was drunk, but she never had a single drink. I listened to her the rest of the evening. I didn’t have to hear what she was saying. I just kept looking into those beautiful eyes, grateful and happy merely to be there.
    Rita represented a Hollywood era when the major studios ruled. If you were an actor, they reinvented your past to suit their publicity machine, they defined your present by assigning you films, and they held your future hostage becausewithout a studio contract it was almost impossible to get work. While people of extraordinary talent and irrepressible personalities such as Bette Davis fought back—occasionally to her detriment—actresses such as Rita and Myrna Loy flourished in the system. I would have been perfectly happy with a long-term studio contract, but some guys from my era, such as Warren Beatty and Peter Fonda, natural-born independent filmmakers, would have revolted.
    That same year I make
Green Ice
, I have to be in New York for three months to shoot
So Fine
, a comedy for Warner Brothers with Jack Warden and a wonderful Italian actress, Mariangela Melato. Farrah wants an apartment with a sauna, so I find this place on Fourteenth Street, a loft, that has both a sauna and a Jacuzzi. We live there while I’m shooting the film. My ex-wife Joanna Moore is in no shape to care for Griffin, who’s sixteen, so we take him with us to try to get him into the music school at Juilliard. We realized it was a stretch for a drummer but we wanted the best for him. By this point, Griffin has been in and out of numerous schools, exhibiting many of the same behavioral problems as his mother, and I’m worried for his future. But at the time, all I wanted was for my boy to be able to pursue his dream of becoming a professional musician. Though Juilliard doesn’t accept him we’re able to find him a music tutor while we’re there. It’s a wonderful time for us. Griffin and Farrah like each other and she gives him all her support. Farrah so wanted to love my children and have them love her in return,and the more Tatum withdraws, the more Farrah tries to funnel her love to Griffin and Patrick. Griffin doesn’t always make it easy. Patrick glows from her attention.
    Farrah loved New York pretzels, the ones street vendors sell out of carts. They cost fifty cents back then and she would always keep two quarters in the front pocket of her purse so if she wanted to buy one she’d have exact change ready. One day, Griffin steals the fifty cents and, boy, does she ever chew him out! An old friend also visits us during that time. I’ve known him since high school. He had gone to prison for smuggling pot. When he gets out, I hire him to be my assistant, what we now call a handler, and to do stand-in work for me. Years later, Tatum will skewer him in her memoir
A Paper Life
, accusing him of everything from supplying my family with drugs to molesting her. To this day, my daughter and I disagree about my friend. But back to the early eighties in New York with Farrah …
    The media continue to track us. The divorce is still not finalized and we’re trying to maintain our privacy for everyone’s benefit. It proves impossible and eventually comes to a head the night Farrah and I are meeting Tatum, who’s flying in to see Richard Burton on Broadway in
Camelot
. Tatum had recently starred with him in the film
Circle of Two.
    Farrah and I have on our fancy best. We’re leaving the Pierre Hotel, where we’ve stopped to see some friends before the show, and paparazzi are swarming the entrance. I’m holding a bottle of Coke. We make our way throughthe throng of