you know, just one of the normal guys, Conorâs mates or something, thereâs no way in hell she would have followed him around the country. No way. Whatâs that word when youâre mad for someone and you canât let them out of your sight? Infatuate, thatâs it. She was infatuate with him. Sheâd have done anything for him. Well, she did. But Iâm no that stupid, thereâs no chance that Iâd be running around after some pure mad guy like a wee lap dog just because he was, like, dead cool and mad different from the rest of the guys. Lifeâs too short for all that. And, anyway, itâs much better if theyâre doing all the running than that oh-Iâm-so-in-love-I-want-to-die crap.
Mr Cunninghamâs Inclination
No teacher in their right mind wants to remain after the bell, unless they have no option. Parentsâ night, for example. What Iâm talking about is the extra-curricular activities, or other altruistic things teachers get themselves involved in. Iâve said it time and time again, they get no reward, financially or otherwise, for the work they do. Yes, periodically I have questioned the motives of certain members of staff. Having said that, itâs vital in any school environment that they have things like a football team, music clubs and drama clubs to participate in. Sometimes the school environment is the only solace these kids get. I ran a creative-writing class years ago, or tried to. Itâs a thankless task. In this job youâre constantly being let down by students. In my experience, youâll be disappointed somewhere down the line.
When the possibility of special study evenings was first muted there werenât many teachers queuing up to put themselves forward, even though it was paid work. A pittance for what they expected of you to be honest: stay behind on a Tuesday and Thursday night. Babysitting. Naturally it was hard to fill the position. Yes, it was down to me to help fill the study evenings. Itâs not something I would normally ask a probationer teacher to do; well, for one, they donât have the experience, and two, they have enough on their plate trying to settle into a new profession, a demanding profession. I didnât ask them for those reasons alone. Pauline Croal approached me with the suggestion herself. I consulted a colleague and it was agreed that we would give her the responsibility of running the evening classes. They werenât compulsory classes for the students so in that sense the heat was off. Nevertheless, it did demonstrate her eagerness to assimilate with the students and the demands of the job. You have to be careful of an over abundance of enthusiasm, it can be misplaced and misconstrued, especially by colleagues. Teachers can be a sensitive breed; they donât like being down the pecking order when it comes to popularity, so while you can be extremely popular with the students, you can find yourself ostracised in the staff room. Itâs a balancing act. My initial worry concerning Pauline Croal was that she would find herself isolated very quickly, if she didnât change her ways a bit. By that I mean sheâd have to try and curb her eagerness to please and be accepted; also, and this is a prickly subject, I thought sheâd have to alter the way she dressed somewhat. It was a touch suggestive, but more than that, it was inappropriate for a school environment. The way she dressed, in my view, was a major misjudgement on her part and misread the male, and female, studentsâ mentality. She was laying herself open to an enormous amount of criticism both inside and outside the classroom. I wouldnât say that I reluctantly agreed that she could oversee the evening classes, nevertheless I did accept her willingness to do it with some degree of caution.
It became apparent very quickly that something inappropriate was going on. In this job you learn to filter the yarns from the