pamphlet, even by accident, made them condom users.
Krista and her thick headband-wearing friends squealed in delight.
Claire slid her desk an inch closer to Layne’s, then muttered, “Massie was so right. Girls
do
act lame around boys.” She sighed. “My year is going to be so much better now that I’m on a boyfast. In my last class, I didn’t think about Cam for four whole minutes.”
“Wow, impressive.” Layne pulled a pink Hello Kitty pen out of her right hair puff and began drawing a daisy-shaped ring on her index finger.
“And I would have lasted to at least five if my French teacher hadn’t mentioned the color
noir
.”
Layne giggled. “What does the word for
black
have to do with anything?”
“Cam’s cologne is Drakkar Noir.”
“Ahhhh.” Layne returned to her finger art. “I’m sure it will get easier.”
Claire gripped her new charm bracelet. “Hope so.”
“Check this out!” called a curly-haired guy in camo cargos and a navy hoodie. He held open the gray metal door of the Hygiene Closet.
Krista and the Hairbands raced over to see what was inside.
A burst of male laughter erupted as Cargo Pants paraded around the room on his tiptoes. “Do you like my new jewels?” he asked in falsetto, while lovingly caressing the tampons that dangled from his ears. “Daddy brought them back from Pair-eeee.”
“Ewwwwww.” Krista and her crew covered their eyes in shame. “That’s soooo gross!”
Layne stuffed the pen back in her hair puff. “They’re acting like they’ve never seen a T before, even though Krista got her period at the sixth-grade carnival.” She lowered her face into her hands and shook her head back and forth in an
I’m-so-over-this-place
sort of way. “The classrooms are overcrowded, locker rooms are being raided, and the quality of our education is going to suffer big-time.”
Just then, a tiny travel-size sample of Secret deodorant flew across the room and nailed the naked female mannequin’s left boob. Everyone cracked up.
“Take your seats please!” shouted a big-breasted pregnant woman dressed in tight white Hudson jeans, a gold chain-link belt, and a white V-neck stretch T-shirt that strained to cover her many humps and bumps. If it hadn’t been for the dark brown roots and the overprocessed strawberry-blond Shakira curls, she could have passed for a heaping dollop of Cool Whip.
“I’m Gina James.” Her round butt bounced and shook as she hammered her name on the blackboard with a pink piece of chalk.
The boys raced for desks at the front of the room.
“But you can call me Gina.”
“Va,” snickered a boy in a green army cap.
“That’s Jeeeena.” She turned around and smile-blinded the first row with her bleached veneers. “
Not
Jy-nah.”
The boys burst out laughing.
Layne and Claire exchanged an eye-roll.
“It’s going to take a lot more to embarrass me than that.” She leaned against the front of her desk and crossed her ankles. “And probably very little to embarrass you.” She grinned. “So watch it, or I’ll have you stand next to Adam and Eve and make you name their body parts.”
Army Cap slid down the back of his seat.
“Since it’s a mixed-gender class this year, I thought it might make sense to teach you what happens when a man and a woman—” She was interrupted by a round of embarrassed giggles.
“No, not
that
.” Gina waved away the ridiculous thought. “I know you already know about
that
. I’m talking about what happens
next
.”
Everyone was silent. For the second time that morning, Claire’s mind was not on Cam. All she could think about was the brutally uncomfortable sex talk her parents had had with her, seconds after she’d downed her third slice of Baskin-Robbins mint chocolate-chip ice-cream cake on her ninth birthday. They cornered her at the picnic table once all the guests had left and asked her if she understood the dirty jokes her older cousin Debbie had been telling. She shook her head and
Krista and her thick headband-wearing friends squealed in delight.
Claire slid her desk an inch closer to Layne’s, then muttered, “Massie was so right. Girls
do
act lame around boys.” She sighed. “My year is going to be so much better now that I’m on a boyfast. In my last class, I didn’t think about Cam for four whole minutes.”
“Wow, impressive.” Layne pulled a pink Hello Kitty pen out of her right hair puff and began drawing a daisy-shaped ring on her index finger.
“And I would have lasted to at least five if my French teacher hadn’t mentioned the color
noir
.”
Layne giggled. “What does the word for
black
have to do with anything?”
“Cam’s cologne is Drakkar Noir.”
“Ahhhh.” Layne returned to her finger art. “I’m sure it will get easier.”
Claire gripped her new charm bracelet. “Hope so.”
“Check this out!” called a curly-haired guy in camo cargos and a navy hoodie. He held open the gray metal door of the Hygiene Closet.
Krista and the Hairbands raced over to see what was inside.
A burst of male laughter erupted as Cargo Pants paraded around the room on his tiptoes. “Do you like my new jewels?” he asked in falsetto, while lovingly caressing the tampons that dangled from his ears. “Daddy brought them back from Pair-eeee.”
“Ewwwwww.” Krista and her crew covered their eyes in shame. “That’s soooo gross!”
Layne stuffed the pen back in her hair puff. “They’re acting like they’ve never seen a T before, even though Krista got her period at the sixth-grade carnival.” She lowered her face into her hands and shook her head back and forth in an
I’m-so-over-this-place
sort of way. “The classrooms are overcrowded, locker rooms are being raided, and the quality of our education is going to suffer big-time.”
Just then, a tiny travel-size sample of Secret deodorant flew across the room and nailed the naked female mannequin’s left boob. Everyone cracked up.
“Take your seats please!” shouted a big-breasted pregnant woman dressed in tight white Hudson jeans, a gold chain-link belt, and a white V-neck stretch T-shirt that strained to cover her many humps and bumps. If it hadn’t been for the dark brown roots and the overprocessed strawberry-blond Shakira curls, she could have passed for a heaping dollop of Cool Whip.
“I’m Gina James.” Her round butt bounced and shook as she hammered her name on the blackboard with a pink piece of chalk.
The boys raced for desks at the front of the room.
“But you can call me Gina.”
“Va,” snickered a boy in a green army cap.
“That’s Jeeeena.” She turned around and smile-blinded the first row with her bleached veneers. “
Not
Jy-nah.”
The boys burst out laughing.
Layne and Claire exchanged an eye-roll.
“It’s going to take a lot more to embarrass me than that.” She leaned against the front of her desk and crossed her ankles. “And probably very little to embarrass you.” She grinned. “So watch it, or I’ll have you stand next to Adam and Eve and make you name their body parts.”
Army Cap slid down the back of his seat.
“Since it’s a mixed-gender class this year, I thought it might make sense to teach you what happens when a man and a woman—” She was interrupted by a round of embarrassed giggles.
“No, not
that
.” Gina waved away the ridiculous thought. “I know you already know about
that
. I’m talking about what happens
next
.”
Everyone was silent. For the second time that morning, Claire’s mind was not on Cam. All she could think about was the brutally uncomfortable sex talk her parents had had with her, seconds after she’d downed her third slice of Baskin-Robbins mint chocolate-chip ice-cream cake on her ninth birthday. They cornered her at the picnic table once all the guests had left and asked her if she understood the dirty jokes her older cousin Debbie had been telling. She shook her head and
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